Category: News

Not only do campaign finance laws protect incumbents, but as Owen at Boots and Sabers points out, apparently they also protect polisci majors and other non-productive members of society. Or at least they penalize business owners who run for office:

The next few months are a vital time for selling cars, but the Russ Darrow Group, with 20 dealerships throughout the state, may have to stifle its familiar pitch.

That’s because it is a vital period for selling candidacies, too. And the namesake of the car dealership chain, Russ Darrow Jr., is in the hunt for the Republican U.S. Senate nomination.

New federal election law may forbid any television or radio advertising bearing Darrow’s name and not funded by his Senate campaign during the 30 days before the Sept. 14 Republican primary.

“It would appear as if such (car) advertisements might be considered electioneering communications,” and thus prohibited, said Ian Stirton, a spokesman for the Federal Election Commission.

Citizens, I ask you, is this freeing you from the corrupting influence of advertising impressing messages into your malleable mind or is it protecting a self-appointed ruling class who can schmooze their way through four years of schmooze classes, a couple of D.C. internships, an appointment or two, and then election through incumbent indulgence?

Apparently, Subway restaurants have determined:

Beginning Sunday, Subway stores throughout the [St. Louis] metro area stopped handing out a stamp for each 6-inch sandwich purchased, as did Subway restaurants in Knoxville, Tenn.; Madison, Wis.; and Lansing, Mich.

“A number of franchisees feel that we are too big of a company to have an incentive program. They have elected to participate in a test to see what the customer feedback will be,” said Subway spokesman Les Winograd at company headquarters in Milford, Conn. “They may replace it or go back to the way it was or drop it entirely.”

Apparently, St. Louis is one of the test markets for this new “program” of discontinuing a program that has been in place for 39 years, since Subway’s founding. Subway has determined that its name recognition alone will spur brand loyalty, even when faced with competition here with Quiznos, Blimpies, Mr. Goodcents, and other smaller shops just trying to get a foothold in the apparently-lucrative submarine sandwich franchise space.

You can call Subway at the number listed above to register your feelings on the subject or just to let them know you’re a consumer who’s paying attention and don’t subscribe to the theory that less-for-the-customer-is-more theory.

Class, what would Niccolo Machiavelli say about this particular idea? Hmmm?

From Neil Steinberg’s column today, wherein he describes how polarized political society has gotten, we have this:

The electorate is as calcified and entrenched as I’ve ever seen it, divided by those who would vote for Bush if it turned out he was paid by Osama bin Laden to invade Iraq and so hasten the day of Islamic jihad there, and those who would vote for Kerry if photos surfaced of him in Hanoi in the 1960s standing behind Jane Fonda, his fist in the air in the black power salute as she inspected Viet Cong anti-aircraft guns.

I don’t know how I should take that comparison. Right wingers, which I would guess includes me, would vote for Bush even if he were a paid operative of a foreign power actively involved in a conspiracy against the best interests of the United States, whereas more reasonable left wingers would vote for John Kerry if he openly supported, through “protests,” an enemy power currently at war with the United States while he was in that foreign country (which is the key difference, since he only did that here and in Paris, France, but never in North Vietnam).

Message, again: People who support Bush are whackos.

I must be the most whack of the lot since I support Bush and read Steinberg three times a week.

Perhaps Associated Press writer A. Josef Hebert only dabbles in American English as a second language, as he resorts to the dreaded so-called adjective:

In a secret operation, the United States last month removed from Iraq nearly two tons of uranium and hundreds of highly radioactive items that could have been used in a so-called dirty bomb, the Energy Department disclosed Tuesday.

I’m unsure what that particular adjective adds to the sentence. Unless Hebert’s paid five cents a word, in which case it adds a dime to Hebert’s pocket.

(Link courtesy Perry on Politics.)

Whitney Gould, the architectural columnist for the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, muses on what to do with “big box” store buildings after the big box stores have moved on. Go check out her July 4 column.

Me, I read her all the time as a residual effect of too many adolescent readings of The Fountainhead and too much adolescent appreciation of Patricia Neal as Dominique Francon. But you can read her for other reasons, as ye liste.

The mayor of a small newly-suburban outpost in St. Louis County has discovered the joys of property rights infringement: Arnold Mayor declares war on vacant buildings:

Arnold Mayor Mark Powell is hoping that unsightly, abandoned buildings in the city will soon be nothing but an ugly memory. Powell reported that the city is cracking down on building owners who fail to maintain their properties.

“I have reviewed our property maintenance codes and have determined that sufficient authority exists within the code to deal with the maintenance of the boarded-up buildings,” said Powell. “The code provides for buildings to be kept up such that the building looks ready for use. This means no peeling paint, no boarded up windows, no missing shingles, no missing sign faces.”

Or else it will be seized for a new Wal-Mart or New Utopianist mixed use apartment/condo/retail development that will be boarded-up buildings belonging to someone else in twenty years.

Yo, Powell, if you’re so interested in making Arnold something more than a St. Louis-area punchline, how about you reform its ordinances to make it a business-friendly environment, so that the owners of the properties to which you refer would lose money by leaving them in their current states.

Oh, but no. Just seize them, dish them out to friends, and screw the person who put down capital on it in the first place. It’s your perogative as duly-elected despot.

These guys always have sufficient authority, don’t they?

The joke’s set up line, as published by the BBC, begins with the headline Sunspots reaching 1,000-year high:

A new analysis shows that the Sun is more active now than it has been at anytime in the previous 1,000 years.

Scientists based at the Institute for Astronomy in Zurich used ice cores from Greenland to construct a picture of our star’s activity in the past.

They say that over the last century the number of sunspots rose at the same time that the Earth’s climate became steadily warmer.

This trend is being amplified by gases from fossil fuel burning, they argue.

Got that? Driving an SUV causes sunspots. Maybe even space-time distortions that threaten our very existence, or perhaps just the holes that stupid people will punch in November.

On the other hand, global warming has proven to be our main defense against planetary invasion from the venomous snowcrawlers from Dis X. So I guess you have to take the bad with the good.

If I weren’t laughing, I would be crying.

Who knew Mexico’s armed force had automatic weapons? Too bad all dozen and a half of its forces showed up and interrupted a Marine funeral for a Mexican-American:

Mexican soldiers carrying automatic weapons interrupted the U.S. Independence Day funeral of a U.S. Marine and demanded that the Marine honor guard give up ceremonial replicas of rifles they carried.

Hundreds of friends and relatives packed a small cemetery for the funeral on Sunday of 22-year-old Juan Lopez, who was born in this sun-scorched farming town, immigrated to Dalton, Georgia, as a teenager and became a Marine.

Message received, “allies”. Hey, you guys remember when Mexico was a French possession? Ain’t history fun?

Stop the madness! Now there’s a Pro Plan Performance Bar nutritional supplement for dogs!

Just eliminate yourself from the decision-making process if your choices lead to your death, just like this woman’s estate:

The plaintiff, Linda Lou Poag, executrix of Rubick’s estate, claims that Atkins and two other doctors at the Atkins Center were negligent in treating Rubick’s cancer.

In 1995, Rubick, then 39, underwent a lumpectomy of her right breast for treatment of stage two breast cancer, according to court papers. The surgeon – not affiliated with Atkins – referred Rubick to a traditional oncologist for chemotherapy.

Rubick decided instead to pursue “alternative care” with Dr. Atkins, care that consisted of such “quackery” as dietary manipulation, enemas and vitamin therapy, the suit says. [Emphasis mine, since I’m the only one who seems to think “decide” is an active verb, requiring a subject. Unfortunately, I have no connection with the legal system.]

Apparently, Willie Sutton is the patron saint of attorneys.

I am going to write to my Congressman, Todd Akin, and ask him to introduce a bill into Congress that sets a statute of limitation for pillage and other historical wrongs.

In addition to the newly-normal clamor for slave reparations (for an injustice done 140 years ago at the minimum in this country), it looks as though some people are suing Elizabeth Taylor over a painting that’s been in her family for two generations now, which is 41 years in absolute reckoning:

Descendants of Margarete Mauthner allege “View of the Asylum of Saint-Remy” was taken from the German woman during World War II, and are demanding that Taylor returns the painting, which appraisers said could fetch $10 million to $15 million at auction.

Taylor, whose father bought her the painting at a London auction in 1963, has filed a lawsuit seeking a pre-emptive court declaration that she is the rightful owner of the painting, which hangs in the living room of her Bel-Air estate.

After forty years, descendents are suing, which means that no one involved in the pillaging is available for testimony. I understand it’s fifteen million dollars in the balance, but give me a break. Undoubtedly, each dollar and possession that passes through my hands has some unethical heritage in its ancestry if one were to look deeply enough, and with enough imagination, but that does not give others the right to take it from me in the name of their wronged ancestors from millenia past.

From a story in today’s St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

A robber probably figured he found an easy target when he saw a blonde in spaghetti straps walking alone in a Westport Plaza parking lot early Thursday.

But he picked the wrong woman.

The purse he snatched was tucked under the arm of an off-duty St. Louis County police officer who wouldn’t let it go without a fight.

As Fark would say, jailarity ensues. Unfortunately, Fark has yet to coin the term broken-kneecaparity ensues.

UPDATE: From the “I Wish I Would Have Said That” Department, we offer Aaron of Free Will Blog’s take:

At least the Post-Dispatch didn’t run it with the headline “Jobless Man’s Kneecap Broken After Woman Is Mugged”.

Donald Sensing finds a new variation on the Nigerian scam: American soldiers need help absconding with Saddam’s loot.

A 911 transcript between dispatch and the caller:

The following is a partial transcript of that call. Items in bold appear to be the voice of the 911 dispatcher.

911 Office, Tammy.

Tammy, my ex-husband’s here with a gun. He’s in here. He’s got a gun.

He’s going to kill them, hurry.

He’s got my kids, quick.

What’s his name?

Parker Elliott.

(Quick, shallow breathing)

2005 Forrest Ridge Trail, Culleoka. We’ve got a male subject in the house with a weapon.

He just told my kids he’s going to kill them if I’m on the phone. He’s going to kill me.

I don’t need you to hang up. Has he been drinking?

He’s going to kill me. They’re in the hallway with him, and I’m hiding in the closet.

(First shot is heard)

I’m hiding in the closet. I’m coming out ’cause he’d not going to hurt my kids. The kids are with him.

Can they get out?

I want to make sure he doesn’t shoot my kids. The kids are with him.

They’re deterring him. Please, please, he’s going to kill them.

Has he been drinking?

He’s got to be.

How long has he been out of the residence?

(Labored, quick breathing)

The kids are telling him I’m not here. He said if I’m here, he’ll kill them.

He just shot the gun.

He hasn’t seen you yet?

He’s coming. He just shot the gun again. Please! Please!

What kind of a gun is it?

A handgun. He’s going to the front door.

(Dispatcher to other emergency personnel) He’s inside the house, shooting. He had two children and an ex-wife.

Oh, he hit one of them!

Stay in the closet. He doesn’t know you’re in the closet?

He can see the phone cord coming in. Oh! He hit one of them.

(Gunshots. Sound of girl screaming in the background)

They’ve got the gun. I think my kids have got my gun. I can’t believe I forgot to get it.

I think one of my children has the weapon. He’s shot five times. I’m hiding in the closet, and my kids are out there with him.

How old are the kids?

15 and 18.

(Gunshots and screaming)

He shot five more. Is that all of them?

Ma’am, I don’t know what kind of gun he has.

He hasn’t shot them yet. My kids are still OK.

(Labored breathing)

(Kids screaming)

He’s going to kill me.

(Screaming)

He’s coming to the closet! He’s coming to the closet! He’s coming to the closet!

(Kids screaming, shrieking)

He’s at the closet. He’s going to shoot me. Help me! He’s here. He’s gonna hit me with the gun.

(Children screaming in the background)

Calm down.

He’s still shooting at the kids! Help me!

(Whimpering)

Be calm! They’re getting there. They’re coming.

He’s beating on the doors.

(Loud banging)

He’s still shooting.

Parker, don’t!

Parker, no! Please, no!

He’s going to beat a hole in the door.

Ma’am, calm down. What’s your name?

Please! Freda! Freda!

(Yell heard from man in background)

Please, don’t hurt my kids! Don’t hurt my babies! Parker, no!

Where are they?

I don’t know.

(Screaming)

Parker, please! Don’t!

(Screams, screams, screams)

(Gunshots)

Don’t hurt my babies!!

(Shrieks)

(Screams)

Freda, what’s going on? Freda?

(Gunshots, gunshots)

Hello?

This is E-Com 720. We just heard two gunshots inside the residence. We heard a woman screaming. Now we’ve got dead silence.

10-4.

Sleep tight, and don’t worry; the almighty proper authorities will protect you. Or at least will fill out the paperwork after you’re gone.

(Link seen on Hobbs Online.)

Hillary Clinton says:

“Many of you are well enough off that … the tax cuts may have helped you,” Sen. Clinton said. “We’re saying that for America to get back on track, we’re probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”

I immediately thought to compare it to the campaign worker who visited James Lileks’ house:

Then came the Parable of the Stairs, of course. My tiresome, shopworn, oft-told tale, a piece of unsupportable meaningless anecdotal drivel about how I turned my tax cut into a nice staircase that replaced a crumbling eyesore, hired a few people and injected money far and wide – from the guys who demolished the old stairs, the guys who built the new one, the family firm that sold the stone, the other firm that rented the Bobcats, the entrepreneur who fabricated the railings in his garage, and the guy who did the landscaping. Also the company that sold him the plants. And the light fixtures. It’s called economic activity. What’s more, home improvements added to the value of this pile, which mean that my assessment would increase, bumping up my property taxes. To say nothing of the general beautification of the neighborhood. Next year, if my taxes didn’t shoot up, I had another project planned. Raise my taxes, and it won’t happen – I won’t hire anyone, and they won’t hire anyone, rent anything, buy anything. You see?

“Well, it’s a philosophical difference,” she sniffed. She had pegged me as a form of life last seen clilcking the leash off a dog at Abu Ghraib. “I think the money should have gone straight to those people instead of trickling down.” Those last two words were said with an edge.

“But then I wouldn’t have hired them,” I said. “I wouldn’t have new steps. And they wouldn’t have done anything to get the money.”

“Well, what did you do?” she snapped.

“What do you mean?”

“Why should the government have given you the money in the first place?”

“They didn’t give it to me. They just took less of my money.”

That was the last straw. Now she was angry. And the truth came out:

“Well, why is it your money? I think it should be their money.”

Of course, I saw the story on Drudge and made the connection independently, but before I could post it here, the all-knowing Instapundit commented on it, too.

Upon hearing the quote, my beautiful wife said, “Geez, Hillary, why don’t you just move to China?”

And my response: “Because, honey, she wouldn’t rule China.”

For a man of discriminating taste, Neil Steinberg sure can say some awfully st00pid things:

It reminds me why Democrats are always at a disadvantage when butting horns against the Republicans — Democrats think, and re-assess, and the notion of fairness at least floats somewhere in the background.

Got that, children? Republicans are inherently unfair and unreasonable. Democrats, on the other hand, are blinkered by the blinding light of their reason.

Someone tell me he’s joking.