To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
A smooth jazz rendition of “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”:
That’s rolling a 1 on a d20.
And, sadly, that is the version on the Lethal Weapon 2 soundtrack. You know, from the very end where Riggs is shot by the South African diplomat on the freighter.
If you don’t know the exact scene, you haven’t watched it enough.
UPDATE: You know what I really could have lived without? Researching it and finding out who else did the song. Roger Waters? Are you freaking kidding me?
This is an unholy aberration.
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I bought this book because when I flipped through it, I landed pretty quickly on the beginning narration for the original Battlestar Galactica, so I thought I’d do pretty well. As it turns out, I got about 10% of the questions, maybe less. Because, let’s face it, the popular television seasons spanned a large bloc of years, so the theme songs you remember represent a very small percentage of television shows. The book is rife with answers based on short-running shows from fifty years of television, including four or so decades where I didn’t watch television.
As a result, I didn’t get many questions right about 1960s cartoons, 1940s detective shows, 1970s meaningful sitcoms, or 1950s westerns. I didn’t even get the chance to answer the question about the inexecrable Buck Rogers in the 25th Century theme song lyrics, which the producers fortunately turned into a science fiction march after the pilot. So I knew something that this author might not, which is the best I can do.
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Remember the band Color Me Badd?
Me, either.
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You may now confuse the Primitive Radio Gods (“Standing Outside A Broken Phonebooth With Money In My Hand”) with The New Radicals (“You Get What You Give”).
If you ever happen to think of either, that is.
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The Bangles “An Eternal Flame”, their biggest hit, released in 1988:
By 2008, the poet-narrator’s “eternal flame,” whom she married in 1990, has left her after succeeding at his career (success being a district manager in a repair-shop-directed auto parts chain) for a 24-year-old whom he met at a coffeeshop in Indianapolis, IN, during a national sales meeting and who “rocked his world.” In 2008, our poet-narrator has been single for 6 years and has begun dealing with empty-nest syndrome as the only child from her “eternal flame” relationship (born ahead of the marriage) has left to go to school in San Francisco.
She’s got nothing left, just a mother nearby who has given up trying to console her daughter and a couple of people whom she calls every couple of months, trying not to impose upon them but ultimately proving too morbid for a return to their early friendship, which she sacrificed to her husbands’ interests (now, they’re married and raising children and don’t want to relate to her experience).
Pleasant dreams.
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The Pat Sajak Assassins. The very name inspires me to purchase one of their CDs.
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The only thing nearly as cool as Ript doing “Suspicious Minds”, we have a metal tribute to the Bee Gees:
(Link seen on The Sniper. Finally, that blog is good for sumpthin.)
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You know the song “Love Machine” by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles?
It just doesn’t sound right to me without sighing hens.
You’re only playing her once an hour, so I get the point.
She’s also a young one, like Taylor Swift. What the heck is going on with country music turning into pop music with its focus on young stars? I wrote back in 2003 about how the charts were skewing younger, which meant that as I grew older, I couldn’t connect with the music since I was no longer 20 and in love for the first time.
Fortunately, country and western hasn’t gone that far yet. For every Hough and Swift, we still get some Trace Adkins, Montgomery Gentry, or oldsters like LeeAnn Rimes.
Hopefully, though, success will allow Hough to buy something to eat. She’s got blue eyes, blonde hair, pretty skin, and functional bones, but it looks like her man will have to do a lot of gratuitous lifting in their relationship.
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The lack of culture is showing:
At a recent ‘launch’ of the out-of-this world project, Edwards showed up in a space suit, complete with Moonrise Hotel flag and the theme song from 2001: A Space Odyessey blaring in the background.
If only that theme had a name and additional relevance besides inclusion in a late 20th century film.
Ah, who am I kidding? American cinema is the pinnacle of artistic expression and cultural significance.
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Craig Morgan, in the song “International Harvester“:
I’m the son of a 3rd generation farmer
I’ve been married 10 years to the farmer’s daughter
Ponder the logical implications lost on most country and western fans.
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“Lady Willpower” is my favorite song by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. You probably don’t even have one. Because you’re a sissy.
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As some of you Atari Party attendees know, we have kept up with the Karaoke Revolutions series by Konami. I’m not a very talented singer, but I’m pleased that I have scored perfectly on two songs:
I am especially proud because of the songs.
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1: Taylor Swift. Day-um, that is a pretty girl.
I mean, I’m from Wisconsin, but this young lady has altered the geographical center of my swearing accent.
That’s the kind of girl I would have gotten stupid over at age 20. Come to think of it, she does remind me a little about my high school crush. I only went out with her twice, as I got stupid about her my senior year and didn’t get the nerve to ask her out until spring. She then went on to date a close friend, which would become a recurring theme in my younger days, and after she graduated college, I hear she married a local boy known for impregnating his step-sister, whom he’d dated before their parents married. I am from Wisconsin, but by high school, I was in Jefferson County, Missouri, where such things are not unheard of.
But back to Taylor Swift. Blonde, pretty blue eyes, and a sweet voice, ruff.
Speaking of Taylors, here’s another from back in the day, also blonde here:
2. Hey, I’ve always liked Billy Ray Cyrus.
Actually, I was fortunate to get exposure only after the whole Achy Breaky thing, so that was something I had to forgive him for after I liked him. Here’s the current video, where he looks like a fat Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines, unfortunately:
Sadly, it’s from an album of country sings Disney which isn’t as bad as a Jimmy Buffett or Def Leppard duet, but I have to think Hank would not approve.
Here’s something from the olden days, his second album entitled It Won’t Be The Last. To some of his critics’ surprise, it wasn’t. You’ll have to click through to see “Some Gave All” because Universal Music doesn’t trust me with the embedded video because if you can see the video here for free, you won’t go buy a $50 Blu-Ray Billy Ray video collection.
What, country music videos in the middle of the night? Well, after four weeks of the late shift, I’ve gotten a bit tired of SportsCenter and Hannity and Colmes or Greta repeats, and sometimes the classic movie stations are running Hope Floats marathons. Watching the country videos makes me a bit nostalgic, as you can see.
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Life is like an Eddie Money song: Short and not unpleasant when you’re listening to it, but mediocre and obscure and ultimately forgotten when it ends.
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Nine Lives by Def Leppard featuring Tim McGraw. The most disturbing thing I’ve seen in quite some time.
Somebody is dead to me now, and I cannot determine if it’s Def Leppard or Tim McGraw. Maybe both.
Far worse than Alan Jackson and Jimmy Buffett. Far worse than Uncle Kracker and Kenny Chesney. Appalling.
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This weekend, someone posted a bit about how Barack Obama should take note lessons from Hank William, Jr.,’s “A Country Boy Can Survive” to court the rural vote. As someone who listens to Hank Williams, Jr., for pleasure, I’d have to point out that Barack Obama could not actually adhere to the philosophy the song encompasses. Let’s do a line-by-line of the lyrics, shall we?
The preacher man says it’s the end of time
For starters, this line indicates going to church, and many of the Democrat leaders only appear in church around election time. Some of the most faithful Democratics I know in the urbanati are active, enthusiastic atheists. So this line and its millenial, evangelical preacher man don’t conform with many Democrat candidate leanings, much less Obama’s–who has preacher man problems of his own, as those who dwell amongst the blogs know.
And the Mississippi River she’s a goin’ dry
A good environmental millenialism. Democrats already tap into the global warming/environmental disaster meme, but so does McCain (sadly). So Obama has nothing to learn here.
The interest is up and the stock market’s down
Well, this economic malaise millenialism fits a Democrat theme, but it doesn’t hold terribly true according to current metrics. The interest rates are way down, and the stock market is a bit behind, but not far off. The song was originally recorded in 1981, and the economic malaise was inherited from Carter (D) with the conditions. Put that sweater on and shiver in it.
And you only get mugged
If you go downtown
Now, we have a bit of a disconnect. The fear of crime and a strong law-and-order impulse are mostly Republican weighted issues. City cores and the urban rulers and voters trend Democratic, so some suburban types (such as me) see the hellholes in cities and think they’re problems caused by Democratic policies until a Giuliani cleans them up. Banging a drum too loudly about how screwed up cities are might draw attention to how they got that way.
I live back in the woods, you see
A woman and the kids, and the dogs and me
A nuclear family. Sounds good. But who is it that mocks family values? Oh, yeah, the urbanati.
I got a shotgun, rifle, and a 4-wheel drive
Guns and a fuel-consuming sport utility vehicle (with dogs and kids, I’d picture a Chevy Blazer). Any urbanati Democrat candidate that espoused these would look foolish and somewhat hypocritical. Like Obama is doing now.
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
I don’t think this is what the urbanati care about. All they care is that the rural folks fail to outvote their urban voters, who will probably go Democrat anyway.
I can plow a field all day long
I can catch catfish from dusk till dawn
As Kerry and other urban Democrat candidates know, regaling voters with stories of harvesting grain or being lifelong hunters doesn’t work, since you’re likely to make a gaffe or slip into cornpone accents.
We make our own whiskey and our own smoke too
Ain’t too many things these ole boys can’t do
Whereas Obama might appreciate a good homemade smoke, Democrats aren’t terribly interested in unregulated craft manufacturing. None of our government officials are, really; if there’s a lobbying group that wants to keep upstarts out, the government leaders pass certification and licensing laws. Never mind that; what else are we talking about here? Ah, yes, smoking and drinking, the new anathemas to modern urbanati living, which must be banned in as many locations as possible. Which is “all” to some minds.
We grow good ole tomatoes and homemade wine
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
The song is an anthem to self-reliance. Growing your own food and making your own booze? But Democrat initiatives don’t expect that much of constituents. No, instead, here, have some free money and free cheese. Vote for me, and next time it’s more free money and maybe some chicken. Please don’t spend that money on seeds, or we’ll cut your benefit.
Because you can’t stomp us out
And you can’t make us run
‘Cause we’re them old boys raised on shotgun
Resilience and tenacity. Put some bombs bursting in air, and you’ve got “The Star-Spangled Banner”.
We say grace and we say Ma’am
And if you ain’t into that we don’t give a damn
This is a libertarian impulse coupled with a traditional conservative respect for others and belief in God. Unfortunately, one does not get the sense that the Democrat party platform is about not giving a damn about other people’s business. Sadly, neither is the Republican party’s in many places. But I doubt Obama’s “Change” involves not freaking out about how tall your neighbor’s lawn is or whether Georgia allows this when Connecticut does not (What! Let’s pass a Federal statute to make it the same everywhere according to the prevailing busybody taste!)
We came from the West Virginia coal mines
And the Rocky Mountains and the western skies
No, the Democrat frontrunners come from the cities and other urbanati enclaves in academic environments. Saying you’re authentic or that you’ve worked for a living won’t make it so, so let’s not just drop a hard hat with a carbide lamp on you for a photo op, okay?
We can skin a buck; we can run a trot line
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
Skinning Bambi? Catching fish? Hurting Mother Gaia’s more important children? Okay, I’m adding urbanati hysterics for fun here, but a lot of urbanati want to limit hunting in myriad ways. I don’t know Obama’s voting record on these issues, but I’d guess they’re either “Present” or not against the limitations.
I had a good friend in New York City
He never called me by my name, just hillbilly
That’s actually probably in line with urbanati conversation, although “redneck” has replaced hillbilly as the appellation for choice for those not fortunate enough to live amid the concrete warrens of the like-minded.
My grandpa taught me how to live off the land
And his taught him to be a businessman
He used to send me pictures of the Broadway nights
And I’d send him some homemade wine
An exchange of the “service economy” versus people who actually make stuff for a living. A photo for a product. To the urbanati, that’s a good exchange. Perhaps Obama has already tapped into this, offering style instead of substance.
But he was killed by a man with a switchblade knife
For 43 dollars my friend lost his life
Again, the crime in the city. The Ed Koch years. Remember the 1970s and 1980s and the New York City of that era? Yeah, to urbanati of a certain age, living there amid the crime and the crumbling gives them credibility. Unfortunately, Obama’s not that old. Banging the drum of street crime won’t endear him to the urban vote.
I’d love to spit some beechnut into that dude’s eyes
And shoot him with my old .45
Cause a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
What, with a handgun? Citizens cannot be trusted with handguns. Just lock yourself behind a hollow core closet door and call 911. Then your survivors can lose a lawsuit because police do not have a duty to protect any individual.
Cause you can’t stomp us out, and you can’t make us run
‘Cause we’re them old boys raised on shotgun.
We say grace, and we say Ma’am
And if you ain’t into that we don’t give a damn.
We’re from North California and south Alabam
And little towns all around this land
And we can skin a buck; we can run a trot line
And a country boy can survive
Country folks can survive
I don’t think there’s much in the song for Obama to embrace, authentically and sincerely. The Democratic Party encourages dependency, more than even the other party that encourages dependency upon its largess when in power. Strong libertarian messages coupled with a marked belief in traditional values won’t sound right coming from Obama’s mouth, not if he’s also professing to be the fount of all change and goodness and impending utopia.
(Links courtesy of Outside the Beltway and Instapundit.)
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When you confuse two songs that have the same title and that came out near the same time? For example:
Duran Duran’s “Notorious” (1986):
Loverboy’s “Notorious” (1987):
It was the video for “Notorious” that I had in mind for some reason. Sadly, I didn’t look 80s cool until the early 90s, and that made for some lonely times and few dates at college.
Another similar circumstance: Robbie Nevil’s “C’est La Vie” (1986):
And David Lee Roth’s “That’s Life” (also 1986 — sorry, no video). Both songs charted at the same time, but fortunately one is titled in French to alleviate the confusion.
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