Category: Libations

Via Fark (of course), we have this important health update: Guinness is good for you.

Yes, Guinness apparently, according to certain resarch:

• Helps prevent heart disease; since my family has a history of heart disease, I better up my dosage just to be safe.
• Is an important source of vitamin B, which has suddenly gained importance for its rationalization benefits.
• Has less carbs than other beers. It also has less carbs than eating a whole confetti cake each night, and since I have to do one or the other….
• Contains less alcohol by volume than other beers, which means I can drink more without forgetting where the bottle opener is.

Unfortunately, the article also contains disturbing news:

It’s a favorite of Bono (obviously), Madonna (with a good cigar) and Matt Damon (no, Guinness does not make teeth unnaturally white).

Even given these side effects, we at MfBJN recommend a healthy daily supplement.

Madfish Willie links to a bit on the Lush Lexicon, the buzzwords slurred amongst those of us who enjoy a good case of beer every night now and then.

Very clever.

Guinness prevents heart attacks.

Reason’s Hit and Run covers the goofball study that says diversity prevents binge drinking, but it also helpfully defines binge drinking:

BTW, binge drinking is defined as more than 5 drinks in succession for guys and 4 for gals.

So remember, two pretzels, judiciously applied during consumption of your twelve pack, will prevent you from being a “binge drinker.”

Tightly Wound / Big Arm Woman discusses the United States / Mexico trade dispute over tequila, and she correctly describes tequila:

It is designed to be drunk as quickly as possible, and to have its taste completely obscured by combinations of salt and lime. Tequila is anti-freeze with a twist.

Perhaps a twist would improve Mexican beer. Perhaps a twist of habanero could cover it up.

This is Devon answers a burning question:

WHY IS GUINNESS BLACK YET THE BUBBLES THAT SETTLE ON TOP, WHICH ARE MADE OF THE SAME STUFF, ARE WHITE?

Underneath the scientific terminology, essentially the answer is because Guinness is so yummy.

(Link seen on Fark.)

The good news: Samuel Adams Utopia clocks in at 25% alcohol by volume, according to this Sacramento Bee story.
The bad news:It’s a swanky limited edition.

The good news: A single bottle could probably do you.
The bad news: It’s limited edition, and it costs $100 a bottle.

The bad news: It doesn’t taste like beer.
The good news: It works as a contact disinfectant.

(Link seen on Fark.)

Beer for the Homeless. Can’t you help?

This weekend at Adam’s House of Grillin’, certain acquaintances discussed the difference between bourbon and plain whiskey. These people consulted a bar guide for a definition, but certainly they didn’t think to do a qualitative analysis flame test.

Because everyone knows that bourbon burns differently than regular whiskey.

(Story spotted on Fark, although its link goes to a registration-only site.)

Mapchic tells a diabolical story about the hijinks that occur in the wine industry, particularly how those dastardly French winemakers operate.

Who needs French wine? Not me! Might I recommend, if you absolutely need a wine that sounds foreign (shiraz not withstanding), try the Concha y Toro Frontera Merlot. It’s dry. It’s red. It’s got alcohol.

The only thing better than a $4.99 merlot is a lot of $4.99 merlot, and the two often go hand-in-hand!

James Lileks making your own beer:

I can understand making one’s own beer if, for example, beer is not otherwise available. But there’s a store down the street that sells all manner of fine beers. Some are from breweries that date back to the 18th century. I imagine they’ve gotten the kinks out by now, and it’s safe to drink.

Probably even Modela Negro. Theoretically.

I know a couple of people, including the revered El Guapo, who make their own beers. I love you guys like brothers, but I’d like to point out two things about the process:

• What you’re doing looks kinda like work. I mean, growing your own hops? Is that necessary? That’s prime napping time you’re wasting.
• You’re totally not getting the capitalist system, wherein I exchange hours of writing illegible software documentation for a means of exchange, called money, which I can then trade for another good, namely delicious Guinness Draught. Your selfish manufacture of a good you could otherwise buy helps keep the economy stagnant and removes a excessive excisely tax revenue stream from trickling, or in our cases roaring, into state coffers.

Friends, and soon federal officials, won’t let friends brew their own.

John Kass (registration required) and I don’t drink el vino but we do drink the brews. So we can only wonder at people who improve their brains and their palates to tell the difference between wines.

The Brian Wine Chart includes these continua:

• Taste: From sweet (1) to not sweet (10).
• Buzz: From good (1) to very good (10).
• Price: From cheep (1) to “I’ll never taste it” and beyond (10).

For instance, I give St. James Velvet Red scores a 3.5.3. Les Bourgeois Riverboat Red scores a 1.6.3.

Only Guinness Draught scores better, 1.1.1. What, you say, it’s not wine? Well, it’s not cheap either, but it’s the contender to beat!