Category: News

All radio ads are beginning to sound like this to me:

Candidate A blends puppies and drinks them as a shake to benefit himself/herself.

Candidate B: He/She won’t blend your puppy.

The New York Times offers a helpful hint on protecting yourself from vapid people who would call themselves your friends:

Jim Coffman, 40, a Democrat in Chicago, said he and his wife have not pursued a friendship with another couple whose three children are the same ages as theirs after seeing photographs of President Bush on the other couple’s refrigerator. He said they have discussed with other friends “being so amazed that we could have so much in common, and yet be so diametrically opposed” when it comes to politics.

We have used this mechanism to deter people who use politics as the determining factor for populating their high-school-like clique with other “cool” people so they can look down upon the nerds together. Except in the midlife cliques, the nerds are evil.

So when people come into my home and see the collection of fundraiser photographs, only to determine they don’t want to pursue a deeper friendship because I’m obviously evil or stupid by their reckoning, they’re doing me a favor.

(Link seen on Althouse.)

SJ woman accused of house burglaries:

A 47-year-old unemployed San Jose woman allegedly has a broad definition of “open house.”

Police said today that they had arrested Susan Hjeltness on suspicion of stealing more than $200,000 worth of porcelain figurines, jewelry and other items after touring homes in the Silver Creek Valley Country Club area of San Jose during real-estate open houses and property showings.

Hjeltness, along with her 13-year-old son and an adult male companion, would pose as prospective buyers and tour homes, police said. They would steal items during the walkthrough or would unlock a door or window and return later, Detective Corey Green said.

When we were looking for our new house, we viewed one house a couple of minutes after the open house closed, and we found the back door unlocked. Was it another burglar in the same vein?

In either case, it was a realtor with a lack of attention to detail. Jeez.

Arms Without Borders.

I mean, it sounds like Doctors Without Borders or Reporters Without Borders; however, Arms Without Borders isn’t about the free exchange of small arms. Quite the opposite.

(Link seen on The Volokh Conspiracy.)

Virtual economies attract real-world tax attention:

Users of online worlds such as Second Life and World of Warcraft transact millions of dollars worth of virtual goods and services every day, and these virtual economies are beginning to draw the attention of real-world authorities.

“Right now we’re at the preliminary stages of looking at the issue and what kind of public policy questions virtual economies raise — taxes, barter exchanges, property and wealth,” said Dan Miller, senior economist for the Joint Economic Committee of the U.S. Congress.

“You could argue that to a certain degree the law has fallen (behind) because you can have a virtual asset and virtual capital gains, but there’s no mechanism by which you’re taxed on this stuff,” he told Reuters in a telephone interview.

Forget what you learned about how laws are made on Schoolhouse Rock; here’s how they’re really made:

1. Some crackpotesque person or thoughtful person presents a whacked-out taxation proposal, just for discussion.
2. A loud cacophony of jeering greets the proposal, and it’s tabled.
3. A slightly less crackpot person brings it up again, perhaps in a time of fiscal crisis.
4. A smaller number of jeers greets the second person, and the proposal is tabled.
5. An almost rational person brings up the proposal again, possibly with a cool acronym and certainly some promise for funding education with the proceeds.
6. The mass of jeering crowd is silent, for it has already expressed its displeasure.
7. Legislators take the relative silence as assent and bring the bill up.
8. Suddenly startled citizens react negatively, firmly, and resolutely.
9. Legislators table the bill.
10. State legislators in California or New Jersey pass a similar bill.
11. Your state legislators bring the bill up and pass it because they want to be cool like the big states.
12. Congress determines that taxing the thing only in New Jersey, California, and your state impedes interstate commerce and attaches the bill at the last minute, in the middle of the night, to a joint house resolution honoring Mom, because who could vote against Mom?

So you better start saving up, because the IRS is going to find out you bought Illinois Avenue in 1982 without paying sales tax and is going to want interest and penalties.

Here’s how Amendment I of the United States Constitution used to read:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Well, that was before the government began taking its normal vigorish off of the top. Latest evidence:

Police officers arrested Earl Hogan, the president of the Venice-Tri City Lions Club, on Saturday as Hogan tried to lead a small procession of cars into the city for a parade.

The Board of Aldermen had denied Hogan and the Lions Club a parade permit earlier this month, but Hogan said lack of a permit wouldn’t stop the parade. Lions clubs are holding numerous events this weekend to raise money for charitable causes.

Officers who handcuffed Hogan and took him to the station called the arrest “unfortunate” but said they had no choice.

“We have to do our job,” said Police Chief Shawn Tyler after the arrest.

Hogan was cited for unlawful assembly and released after about 30 minutes. His fine could range from $100 to $1,000, Tyler said.

After the addition of the crime of unlawful assembly and Mark of McCain-Feingold, how’s that amendment looking now?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of the press; or the right of the people peaceably petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Much more economical. The fewer rights, the more the citizens can enjoy them, right?

We talk about making sacrifices in our lives and our working world, using figures of speech such as taking one for the team or jumping on the grenade. Some say this makes our language richer, to use metaphors to express concepts in a colorful way. Hey, as an writer, I’m all in favor of it. However, when those colorful metaphors become cliches bantered about too easily, we forget the powerful sacrifice of those who do it literally:

A Navy SEAL sacrificed his life to save his comrades by throwing himself on top of a grenade Iraqi insurgents tossed into their sniper hideout, fellow members of the elite force said.

Petty Officer 2nd Class Michael A. Monsoor had been near the only door to the rooftop structure Sept. 29 when the grenade hit him in the chest and bounced to the floor, said four SEALs who spoke to The Associated Press this week on condition of anonymity because their work requires their identities to remain secret.

“He never took his eye off the grenade, his only movement was down toward it,” said a 28-year-old lieutenant who sustained shrapnel wounds to both legs that day. “He undoubtedly saved mine and the other SEALs’ lives, and we owe him.”

I don’t expect I could or would do that.

(Link seen on Outside the Beltway.)

Lost emu raises ruckus on Route 3:

Six times during the weekend, police here responded to the same call: a 100-pound emu running wild near Illinois Route 3.

The 5-foot-tall bird caused quite a ruckus, especially when it wandered into traffic on the busy highway, Police Chief Richard Miller said.

Sure, when it was apprehended, the emu told the cops it was lost, but the word I heard on the street is that this particular emu was looking to hitchhike to Carbondale to settle a score.

In St. Charles, Missouri, two youths in an unmarked police unit pull over an off-duty police officer, who recognizes the youths as not really cops. The leader youth is charged with misdemeanor impersonating a police officer instead of the felony tampering or, you know, stealing a freaking police car.

The city of Ballwin, whose police car was misappropriated, chooses not to press charges:

Banas said City Administrator Robert Kuntz had faxed a letter stating the following: “With regard to the case involving Brian Biederman and the use of his father’s police vehicle, the city of Ballwin is not desirous of prosecution in this matter. Please find enclosed a notorized form of no prosecution from the city of Ballwin.”

No doubt Ballwiin treats all youths, regardless of whether they’re the fruit of the Police Chief’s loins, with that amount of tolerance.

Walk a dog without something to clean up after it? Go to jail in St. Charles:

Like many municipalities, St. Charles for years has had a pooper-scooper law requiring pet owners to remove their animal’s droppings while in public places.

However, Councilman Jerry Reese says the new measure, which he got the council to pass last week, will make it easier for police and animal control officers to deal with the problem. No longer will a witness to the droppings be needed to make a case, he said.

From now on, the ordinance books also will say that simply walking a pet without “waste removal equipment” in itself is a violation. Those convicted could be fined up to $500 or get up to three months in jail. The measure will take effect when Mayor Patti York signs it; she says she’ll do that sometime this week.

Now the government wants to micromanage the minutiae like a subdivision association with SWAT teams standing by. Why don’t we just get body armor and automatics for the building inspectors and get it done with?

No, he’s against train whistles:

Train horns are keeping Wentzville newcomer David Lutes up at night.

“It was a great disappointment to move to Wentzville and hear so much noise at night,” Lutes, 54, said. “On about the second night here, it was like (a train) was in our bedrooms.”

Lutes said he left Southern California for the clean air and convenience of Wentzville. He and his family absolutely love their new city — except for the nightly noise from train horns.

A Wentzville resident for just about a month, Lutes has already established a community action group, Wentzville Against Noisy Traffic and Trains. He’s looking for others wanting more sleep and less noise at night to write aldermen and sign a petition urging the city to apply for a quiet zone with the Federal Railroad Administration.

I’d remind the fellow that train whistles are safety devices designed to prevent collisions with the train. But I expect the gentleman doesn’t care as long as he gets his night’s sleep.

Workers’ job skills criticized in report: Those hired at entry level found to be unprepared:

Written communications ranked highest of all deficiencies among new employees. More than 80% of the respondents said the high school graduates they hired had insufficient writing skills, compared with 47% for two-year and technical college graduates and 28% for four-year college grads.

About 70% of the employers found recently hired high school graduates lacking in personal accountability and effective work habits, including punctuality, time management and being able to work productively with others. At the same time, the HR executives said they’re seeking higher skills in foreign languages, creativity and problem solving.

It’s imperative that we raise the minimum wage because it’s inhumane to…. aw, I cannot even fake a good snarky rejoinder. Somehow, though, it always comes out sounding From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.

If you feel you have reached this message in error, please check your number and dial again:

Since June, area Muslims have become increasingly uncomfortable and even fearful not because of overt attacks or threats against them, but because a sequence of incidents have built upon each other to form an intense, low-grade foreboding.

Beginning with the monthlong Israel-Hezbollah conflict through Pope Benedict XVI’s inflammatory lecture last month, American Muslims say they feel more uneasy in their own country. Local incidents, including the August screening of a controversial anti-terrorism movie and an FBI raid on the home of a Muslim in Columbia, Mo., have heightened the anxiety, according to dozens of St. Louis Muslims interviewed over the last few weeks.

“Muslims are feeling like the world is closing in on them,” said Orvin T. Kimbrough, executive director of the Interfaith Partnership of Metropolitan St. Louis. “They feel like they’re being targeted.”

When our leaders call for your extermination and members of the population start killing you for being Muslims, call us back.

Until then, forebode quietly like the rest of us.

Cue the violins: 16 horses killed in trailer crash on I-44.

The grisly toll:

Officials say 26 of the 42 horses in trailer survived but nine had to be put down and the other seven died at the scene of the accident.

The authorities are taking heroic measures to save the survivors:

The surviving horses were taken to an arena at the St. Clair Saddle Club, where veterinary personnel were working on them. The highway was reopened to traffic about 11 a.m.

Cole said she did not know what would happen to the horses that survived. She was looking for places for them to stay until their status is cleared up.

“The Highway Patrol made them our responsibility,” she said. “The Humane Society is footing the bill for all of this. We are looking into the legalities as we go along.”

The bureaucracy and its attendant veterinarians are no doubt working through the night to make sure the survivors are healthy and can continue on their journey.

The horses were on their way to Cavel International Inc., a horse processing plant in DeKalb, Ill., authorities said. In a statement today, Cavel said even though the horses were bound for the slaughterhouse, “where they would have been euthanized under the supervision of federal inspectors and USDA veterinarians,” the horses belong to the horse trader who bought them until they reach the plant.

That’s right: these horses are being healed so that they’ll reach the slaughterhouse in prime shape.

Michael J. Fox to host McCaskill fundraiser:

Michael J. Fox will be in St. Louis next week to host a fundraiser for Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill.

Well, he is an actor, and so his political thinking skills were suspect from the start.