To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Lost emu raises ruckus on Route 3:
Six times during the weekend, police here responded to the same call: a 100-pound emu running wild near Illinois Route 3.
The 5-foot-tall bird caused quite a ruckus, especially when it wandered into traffic on the busy highway, Police Chief Richard Miller said.
Sure, when it was apprehended, the emu told the cops it was lost, but the word I heard on the street is that this particular emu was looking to hitchhike to Carbondale to settle a score.
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Kenny Rogers pitching to Milton Bradley
Let’s face it, if you’re going to go back in time and need to convince someone you’re a time traveler, leave the 2006 American League Championship Series out of the conversation.
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In St. Charles, Missouri, two youths in an unmarked police unit pull over an off-duty police officer, who recognizes the youths as not really cops. The leader youth is charged with misdemeanor impersonating a police officer instead of the felony tampering or, you know, stealing a freaking police car.
The city of Ballwin, whose police car was misappropriated, chooses not to press charges:
Banas said City Administrator Robert Kuntz had faxed a letter stating the following: “With regard to the case involving Brian Biederman and the use of his father’s police vehicle, the city of Ballwin is not desirous of prosecution in this matter. Please find enclosed a notorized form of no prosecution from the city of Ballwin.”
No doubt Ballwiin treats all youths, regardless of whether they’re the fruit of the Police Chief’s loins, with that amount of tolerance.
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‘Shelby’s made our family complete’
I completely get it. Although my life and family are wonderful, a Shelby would only make it better.
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Doctor Creepy says:
You must loathe yourself before you can truly loathe others.
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Walk a dog without something to clean up after it? Go to jail in St. Charles:
Like many municipalities, St. Charles for years has had a pooper-scooper law requiring pet owners to remove their animal’s droppings while in public places.
However, Councilman Jerry Reese says the new measure, which he got the council to pass last week, will make it easier for police and animal control officers to deal with the problem. No longer will a witness to the droppings be needed to make a case, he said.
From now on, the ordinance books also will say that simply walking a pet without “waste removal equipment” in itself is a violation. Those convicted could be fined up to $500 or get up to three months in jail. The measure will take effect when Mayor Patti York signs it; she says she’ll do that sometime this week.
Now the government wants to micromanage the minutiae like a subdivision association with SWAT teams standing by. Why don’t we just get body armor and automatics for the building inspectors and get it done with?
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Woman charged with using baby as weapon
I think we need a seven day waiting period on babies. Also, a limitation on having more than one every month. And a registration, including safety classes, if you want to carry one in public.
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No, he’s against train whistles:
Train horns are keeping Wentzville newcomer David Lutes up at night.
“It was a great disappointment to move to Wentzville and hear so much noise at night,” Lutes, 54, said. “On about the second night here, it was like (a train) was in our bedrooms.”
Lutes said he left Southern California for the clean air and convenience of Wentzville. He and his family absolutely love their new city — except for the nightly noise from train horns.
A Wentzville resident for just about a month, Lutes has already established a community action group, Wentzville Against Noisy Traffic and Trains. He’s looking for others wanting more sleep and less noise at night to write aldermen and sign a petition urging the city to apply for a quiet zone with the Federal Railroad Administration.
I’d remind the fellow that train whistles are safety devices designed to prevent collisions with the train. But I expect the gentleman doesn’t care as long as he gets his night’s sleep.
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This book is part of the Quest for the Unknown set, and I guess its schtick is that it’s supposed to center around the past. It does have chapters on ley lines, old temples and sacred places, and whatnot, but it also lumps in lesser past things like mediums and some recent disappearances. It’s not exhaustive nor even detailed in the subjects it covers, preferring a very browsable format with small articles and lots of photographs and sidebars.
Still, if you’re jonesing for a Reader’s Digest compendium of paranormal and other things that make you go hmmmm, you’re better off with Mysteries of the Unexplained, which relies more on copy, is longer, and includes source notes.
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About twenty-five years ago, stoplights with crosswalks had two signals specifically for pedestrians. These signals were a red DONT WALK [sic] which displayed solid when the light was read, indicating that the pedestrian should not cross the street and a green WALK that indicated the pedestrian could enter the intersection and probably make it across before the light turned red and cross traffic ground the pedestrian to lunch meat. A third state, akin to the yellow light, involved the DONT WALK symbol flashing, which meant that the light was going to change soon and you probably shouldn’t enter the intersection.
This system, imperfect as though it was, lasted decades. However, some bureaucrat wanted to do something to improve it since people were still dying occasionally in the streets.
So in the 1980s, the conversion from the DONT WALK and WALK paradigm began its shift to the current iconography. The hand replaced DONT WALK and a person walking right to left replaced WALK. This new system would save untold children, the illiterate, and the non-English speaking people who couldn’t understand the DONT WALK and WALK on the signs and who couldn’t puzzle out that crossing with the red light was inherently bad and crossing with the green light was probably safe.
No, our governments enacted expensive changes which required replacement of all crosswalk lights and retraining the young, yet-unnamed Generation X to the new system. To protect the children, the illiterate, and the non-English speaking, you see.
I guess this system isn’t working, either, and that the new iconography doesn’t immediately, universally connect with people and tell them what to do. So now, to protect children, the illiterate, and the non-English speaking who couldn’t handle the old DONT WALK/WALK system–or perhaps adults who can read English but not symbols, the government has come up with this solution:
After 25 years in which, I assume, pedestrians have continued to occasionally die in crosswalks, the government has added an instruction manual for the new symbols which, apparently, dead pedestrians couldn’t understand. Now the children, illiterate, and non-English speakers get 21 English words explaining the symbols and what they mean. Because the children, illiterate, and non-English speakers couldn’t, apparently, understand 3 English words or 2 symbols without the combination thereof.
It makes me wonder what lesson the governments will learn about pedestrians even after this program does not completely eliminate pedestrian deaths. Perhaps that these instructions are not clear and they need more elaborate details? A manual for understanding the helpful signs at the crosswalks? The sky is the limit, since apparently common sense and budget never will be.
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Epic by Faith No More.
Because let’s face it, it’s been 17 years, and I’m still saying, “What is it?”
But perhaps it’s not an effective song; perhaps it’s merely a poor metaphor, or I am not that bright.
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The lottery numbers have been drawn in a city far from here, and I do not know the results. With these tickets I hold in my hand, I am simultaneously a millionaire and myself, the superposition of states, and I will only become one or the other when I check the numbers.
Be that as it may, I’m refraining from clicking the Place Bid link on eBay until I make the observation.
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In stark contrast to the long, well thought out and meticulous Gor books I’ve been reading, here’s a short (140ish) paged book that’s the start of a trilogy. Set in the far future in a Utopia where man can bend matter and time to his whims, an indulgent and decadent playboy decides he’s going to court a recent arrival from 19th century England. As he tries to woo her with poorly-remembered and rendered gifts and all the luxuries the id can provide, she tries, as a Christian, to teach him virtue.
Then he goes back in time to retrieve her after one of his contemporary friends sends her back, and he meets his friend there as a judge who sentences him to death in 1896, but he’s spared and returned to the future for some purpose to be revealed in the next book. Good luck with that, protagonist. You’re on your own as far as I’m concerned.
Certainly, there’s some allegory in this remnant of 60s sensibility. I don’t think I’ll bother with it when I can pick up another Gor book instead. Perhaps I could spin some allegory of my own, where I generalize that certain segments of the population envisage a world of self-indulgence, lax moral standards, and whims catered to by forces whose details are so forgotten they might be magic, and that some segments of the population read books where evil exists and sometimes a man has to pick up a sword and chop at evil. But that’s too hasty a generalization for me, and besides that, no one cares thirty four years after these books might have met head-to-head for the soul of science fictiondom.
Man, who would have expected me to read another Moorcock two and a half years after I read The Black Corridor? Well, anyone who knows how books get off of my to-read shelves, I reckon.
And in closing, non sequitir, this is the 67th book I’ve read this year. Boo-ya!
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If Face is trademarked by Facebook and pod is trademarked by Apple, if I created something called FacePod, would Apple and Facebook collide cataclysmically in their haste to sue me?
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The story in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch has a headline that describes the hooliganism at a political event: Madison County political fundraiser leads to brawl.
The lead describes some of the mayhem:
A brawl erupted hours after a political fundraiser ended for Madison County Treasurer Fred Bathon when his son punched a prominent funeral home director, police said.
Jacob Bathon punched Mike Weber, owner of Weber Funeral Home, several times in the face at Rusty’s in Edwardsville, said Police Chief David Bopp.
The fight was sparked by Weber’s refusal to place a political sign supporting Fred Bathon outside his business, sources said today.
Never mind, gentle reader, this is a generic young political activist. It could have happened to anyone, much like the political activist adult children who slash tires on election day.
But if you must know, gentle reader, the last line of the Post-Dispatch story identifies, for trivia’s sake:
Fred Bathon is seeking re-election as county treasurer. He is being opposed by Republican Kurt Prenzler.
All indirectly-like, see? The parent of this political activist is opposed by a Republican.
Could be a Libertarian.
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A friend e-mailed me from his new job, and I saw his signature block was doubtlessly a company recommendation:
CONFIDENTIALITY STATEMENT: This e-mail and any attachments are intended only for those to which it is addressed and may contain information which is privileged, confidential, and prohibited from disclosure and unauthorized use under applicable law. If you are not the intended recipient of this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any use, dissemination, or copying of this e-mail or the information herein is strictly prohibited by the sender. If you have received this transmission in error, please notify us immediately by replying to this message and deleting all copies from your system.
Dear unnamed company functionary, please note that my receipt and opening a message that came from your servers does not constitute a legally binding agreement on my part. Come and get me if you must, but please spare me the ill-informed bluster.
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Workers’ job skills criticized in report: Those hired at entry level found to be unprepared:
Written communications ranked highest of all deficiencies among new employees. More than 80% of the respondents said the high school graduates they hired had insufficient writing skills, compared with 47% for two-year and technical college graduates and 28% for four-year college grads.
About 70% of the employers found recently hired high school graduates lacking in personal accountability and effective work habits, including punctuality, time management and being able to work productively with others. At the same time, the HR executives said they’re seeking higher skills in foreign languages, creativity and problem solving.
It’s imperative that we raise the minimum wage because it’s inhumane to…. aw, I cannot even fake a good snarky rejoinder. Somehow, though, it always comes out sounding From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.
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Titans tackle kicks helmetless Cowboy, is ejected, and is probably going to be suspended. But let’s go to the Titans coach Jeff Fisher for perspective:
“It’s ridiculous to get to that point. Two back-to-back penalties like that, there’s no place for it,” Fisher said.
Thank you, sir, for that bit of perspective on flagrantly unsportsmanlike behavior and wanton, senseless violence in sports.
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You have not played TI Invaders until you’ve played TI Invaders on the big screen:
On a side note, happy 25th birthday to the Texas Instruments TI 99/4a!
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Ajax doesn’t think it’s hard to get on TV:
Sure, that top is 1 15/16 wide, but to Ajax, that’s comfortable.
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