In this column about the Bears doing what the Bears do, we get this simile:
A 27-10 loss to the Green Bay Packers landed like a cement pillar to the gut.
I am not entirely sure in what circumstances one takes a cement pillar to the gut. While skateboarding, and you hit one of those “don’t drive here” pillars?
Because nobody, not even in Chicago, is going to pick up a freaking pillar and hit you with it. And if you’re on foot, other parts of you are likely to impact any pillar you run into.
Metaphors: Leave them to the professionals, children. Not that many remain who are qualified to handle them, and probably none in the papers.