The Spider-Man Age Check

I have recently devised a methodology to determine one’s age based on the person one thinks of when one thinks of Spider-Man on screen.

Take this simple test for yourself.

Whom do you think of when you picture Spider-Man on screen?

Image:
Actor: Nicholas Hammond Tobey Maguire Andrew Garfield Tom Holland
Your age: Okay, Boomer. Or old Generation X Generation X You have revealed yourself to be a Russian deep cover agent through your lack of understanding of American pop culture Millenial

I mean, really, the government would use this test to ferret out dangerous moles if it were competent.

And, c’mon man, we all know there’s only one Mary Jane Watson.


Kirsten Dunst.

She is also aging gracefully, although 39 ain’t that aged.

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4 thoughts on “The Spider-Man Age Check

  1. I kind of liked the Hammond version, even though I was a kid and probably wanted some more action than it was able to pull off. His Peter Parker, if I recall, was played a little older and more assertive.

    Complete agreement about Kirsten Dunst, especially in the first two movies in which she appeared. Have yet to watch the Garfield version. Even though I thought he was great in “Hacksaw Ridge,” that whole reboot sequence holds zero attraction for me.

  2. All I really remember from the Hammond version is him crawling “up” a wall by having him crawl along a building mock-up on the floor, and he turns to look around himself a bunch.

    Those 70s were quite the early heyday for geekdom, ainna? Wonder Woman, the Incredible Hulk, Spider-Man, Isis, and Shazam on television–but they were for kids, and grown-ups did not get into them, so they faded. It’s only when yesterday’s kids grew up into todays adult-children that geekdom took over popular culture for a time.

    As far as the Garfield Spider-Mans, I have them both on DVD and have not watched them nor the later X-Men films. I really have no strong urge to go to the cinema to see the more recent offerings even in the Marvel line. I wonder if Disney has a big correction in its future when the streaming shows and movies start to have diminishing returns.

  3. The only Marvel one I still watch is the first “Avengers” movie; I saw the others but felt to need to be able to repeat at will. I’m kind of looking forward to the ScarJo “Black Widow” movie because it *might* be a good spy thriller, but the rest of the stuff is in the “watch it if it’s on and I’m in the mood” category.

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