A Nice Place To Keep Sodas

While perusing America’s Second Freedom, I’ve often encountered an ad from Browning touting its gun safes. How does it do so? By presenting the testimonial of Inmate #8390027, a.k.a. “Sledge”: “When I get out, I’m getting a Browning safe.”

Text of the ad indicates:

Sledge is currently serving a seven to 15-year [sic] sentence for his fifth conviction for breaking and entering an occupied dwelling (he has plea bargained away over 20 other “B & Es” and admits that he has done more than he could count in his 13-year criminal career). In a letter to Browning written from his cell, Sledge freely admits, “My partner and I broke into hundreds of houses, many with so-called gun safes, and after we tried to get into a Browning gun safe, it was the last thing we ever wanted to see.”

In his letter, Sledge cites a previous advertisement for Browning gun safes under the headline, “The Competition Hates Our Guts.” He responds, “Now that I see what goes into your safe, I see why I could never open one. The competition isn’t the only one who hates your guts!” Sledge can’t stay locked away forever. Isn’t it nice to know your valuables can?

While I see Browning’s goal with this article, which is to say a convicted burglar/home invader knows a Browning gun safe is a good gun safe, but let’s reiterate the eye-catching headline:


Class, discuss the reasons that Mr. Sledge would own a gun safe. Would it be:

  • A safe place in which he, a convicted felon, could store weapons that he possessed illegally since he is prohibited from owning guns.
  • A good way to practice breaking into Browning gun safes.
  • A cool, dry place to store sodas.

Apparently Browning must think it was the last option.

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