After a post last night (take that, you Johnny-come-latelies like Instapundit and Ace–what am I, chopped liver?), Jack Abramoff dresses differently.
Author: Brian J. Noggle
Conspiracy Theory
Rest assured: somewhere, somehow, a crack team of expert conspiracy theorists tonight are finding a way to blame Ariel Sharon’s stroke on the Jews.
After All I Do To Make It Look Good
Jack Abramoff makes the black trenchcoat and fedora look bad.
Note to self: Continue belt cinched around expanding belly abstinence. Also, don’t bribe congressional representatives.
Now That’s What I Call A Good Submission Guideline
Writers, take note:
And don’t blow up Cleveland. Somebody’s going to need that later on.
The power of the pen is mightier than the neutron bomb.
Book Report: Mine the Harvest by Edna St. Vincent Millay (1954)
Edna St. Vincent Millay’s sister Norma published this book after Ms. Millay died, so its works contain a gamut of the good to the filler material selected from the poet’s incomplete or unpublished work. Oddly, the linked Amazon listing says that the first edition is 1949; however, the stated first edition I have has a 1954 copyright. Perhaps Norma was just planning ahead.
I paid $10 for this stated first edition at Hooked on Books in Springfield, and it’s a former library book. That said, perhaps it’s only worth ten bucks to me, but I’ve enjoyed Ms. Millay’s work since college. Actually, in college I read a great deal of her work and her biographies and whatnot. Early in our relationship, I gave Heather a collection of Millay’s sonnets. So let’s just establish that I am somewhat biased.
In this volume, Millay’s thoughts muse more on death than on love, partially accountable to her advancing age and partially accountable, I would expect, to her sister’s selection for poignancy. But Millay can still turn a phrase, and the poems within this volume which are not incisive nor insightful are tolerable, which puts her in an upper league on merely that account. A couple of memorable lines in decent poems scream for quotation, and I’ll reread the book in the future and will enjoy it then, too.
So it’s probably worth the ten dollars even though I never attended Albernathy High School nor used its library. It’s mine now.
Call the Guinness People: AP Finds a New Record
U.S. Toll for Year in Iraq Nears ’04 Mark:
Bombings and shootings killed at least 20 people across Iraq on the final day of the year Saturday, while U.S. troops shivered in the cold during a performance by an “American Idol” singer as part of New Year’s Eve celebrations. The U.S. military also reported the death of an American soldier from wounds, bringing its death toll in Iraq for 2005 near last year’s record level.
I would say, “Give me a break,” but Associated Press is not doing us any favors. Let’s recap the timeline:
2003: The United States invades in late March and faces an enemy that largely surrenders. US faces 9 months of combat and occupancy.
2004: The first full year of occupation, and the year which the “record” was set.
2005: The second full year of occupation, and the year in which the record is almost matched.
There you have it; a record of long-standing. Well, we Americans are told that we’re always hungering for the bigger and better things all the time, with baseball players chasing home run records every year and whatnot. I guess Associated Press is just trying to feed our interest in meeting or exceeding records every year, even if it has to manufacture those records out of whole cloth.
Fertile, Not Ill (Part II)
In response to my thesis that bloggers are not a sickly lot, but are a fertile lot, Kelley of Suburban Blight announces.
A Totally Sucky Movie Game No One Else Will Play
So when I was watching my traditional Christmas movies last week (Die Hard and Lethal Weapon), I noticed that both movies starred two different actors (or an actor and an actress) in small roles:
| Actor | Lethal Weapon | Die Hard |
|---|---|---|
| Mary Ellen Trainor | Dr. Stephanie Woods | Gail Wallens |
| Al Leong | Endo | Uli |
Tonight, we watched Coming to America, and we got a similar effect, and oddly enough it was Die Hard II:
| Actor | Coming to America | Die Hard 2 | Die Hard with a Vengeance |
|---|---|---|---|
| John Amos | Cleo McDowell | Major Grant | |
| Vondie Curtis-Hall | Basketball Game Vendor | Miller | |
| Samuel L. Jackson | Hold-Up Man | Zeus Carver |
Okay, Samuel L. Jackson is bonus credit, but isn’t it weird how the Die Hard series is the touchstone in this? Six degrees of Kevin Bacon? Insert Die Hard, and you immediately knock off two degrees.
I reckon it’s because producers and directors prefer to work with known quantities for their projects (Joel Silver, for example, was behind Lethal Weapon and Die Hard), but it’s still amusing and impressive to identify groups of actors who appear in several movies that are not sequels of each other.
Gentle reader, I invite you to do the same. Drop a couple of your own eureka moments in the comments, or post such on your Web site. Or, I guess, you can bother me with the list of the obvious when you see them. I mean, crikey, I know Clint Eastwood used a bunch of cowboy actors from his films in Every Which Way But Loose. Show some originality!
Book Reports: The Empty Trap by John D. MacDonald (1957)The Executioners by John D. MacDonald (1958)
I bought these books, paperbacks, from Hooked on Books for $2 and $3 respectively. So that’s a testament to how expensive books can be at Hooked on Books and also a testament to how much I like John D. MacDonald.
The Empty Trap details a revenge-based story told partially in flashback. A hotel manager finds himself working for a syndicate-connected hotel owner and discovers that he has no way out of the business. Unfortunately, the woman telling him this is the hard-but-soft songbird wife of said owner. The hotel manager figures the only way out is to absquatulate (meaning 1) with some of the mobster’s money and the mobster’s wife; the mobster thinks the hotel manager and the wife should indeed absquatulate (meaning 2). The goons leave the now-former hotel manager for dead in the Mexican desert, but in leaving him only mostly dead, they set the stage for revenge.
The Executioners reminded me a lot of the movie Cape Fear (or at least the promos I’d seen of the movie), and a quick glance at Amazon.com reveals why. The book was the source for the movie. Ah. As you might already know with that hint, a man and his family suffer the unwanted attention of a released felon against whom the father testified. The police and other locals provide little help, so the family goes on the run and finally has to make a stand.
Both books have plots that have become stock over the last fifty years, but I read them to see how John D. MacDonald did them. He did them well and rapidly; these books weigh in at fewer than 170 pages each and respresent the best of the immediately post-pulp era.
Spoken Like a True Quality Assurance Person or Media-Friendly Economist
Researcher: iPod earbuds could damage hearing:
The ever-popular earbuds used with many iPods and other MP3 players may be more stylish than the bigger and bulkier earmuff-type headphones, but they may also be more damaging to one’s hearing, according to a Northwestern professor.
“No one really knows for sure” the levels at which iPod users listen to music, but “what we do know is that young people like their music loud and seldom worry about any decline in hearing ability,” Dean Garstecki, chairman of Northwestern’s communication sciences and disorders department, told Reuters.
We don’t know, but we know it’s bad.
If only we had some metaphor by which we could grasp the danger so we could better clamor for government regulation, such as warning labels or a mandatory cap on the volume these things could produce.
The earbuds commonly used by iPod listeners are placed directly into the ear and can boost the audio signal by as many as nine decibels — comparable to the difference in sound intensity between an alarm clock and a lawn mower, Garstecki said.
Reuters and the researcher are partying like it’s 1979, though, because we’ve heard this particular chorus since the introduction of the Walkman, which replaced the practice of carrying a portable tape deck with the speaker pressed against one’s ear.
Or we would have heard the particular chorus, if we weren’t deaf. Instead, we’ve had to read it on the Internet.
Wow, I Though He Was Dead Already
Mourn a moment with me for the recently departed poet: ‘Tiger’ creator Blake dead at 87
I was under the impression that WIlliam Blake had died a long time ago, but you know how colleges are these days, imparting the young with bad information. Let’s eligooglate the man with his most famous work:
-
The Tiger
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to see?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
No, I didn’t click through the headline on CNN.com. Why do you ask?
Introspection
Like Ravenwood and 40% of the people who take the survey, I have discovered:

Robert Morris…-The Executioner-…You are loyal
and brave(to a fault) but you are also a
psychotic killing-machine. Seek professional
help NOW! ;-)
Which Red Dawn Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wherein Brian J. Speaks Ex Cathedra About NSA Cookies
As a QA dude who understands cookies, I officially call this a non-story: Despite federal ban, NSA Web site places ‘cookies’ on visitors’ computers to track Web surfing:
The National Security Agency’s Internet site has been placing files on visitors’ computers that can track their Web surfing activity despite strict federal rules banning most of them.
The government apparently bans permanent cookies, but allows session cookies. The NSA explains the brief presence of permanent cookies this way:
Don Weber, an NSA spokesman, said in a statement Wednesday that the cookie use resulted from a recent software upgrade. Normally, the site uses temporary, permissible cookies that are automatically deleted when users close their Web browsers, he said, but the software in use shipped with persistent cookies already on.
“After being tipped to the issue, we immediately disabled the cookies,” he said.
Completely believeable, especially if the NSA site uses third party components which probably use cookies independently of the official site policy. Granted, a little QA probably would have caught this, but who can afford the time or money for testing and adherence to standards?
So I agree with Jeff Jarvis that anyone trying to make hay out of this is simply happy to continue yipping the letters NSA. Kevin Aylward notes that the DNC Web site uses cookies set to expire in 28 years (the expiration date of the cookie served as “evidence” of the insidious nature of the plot).
Waiting for the Christian Riots in Sweden
Anti-Christian Jeans Are a Trend in Sweden:
Cheap Monday jeans are a hot commodity among young Swedes thanks to their trendy tight fit and low price, even if a few buyers are turned off by the logo: a skull with a cross turned upside down on its forehead.
Logo designer Bjorn Atldax says he’s not just trying for an antiestablishment vibe.
“It is an active statement against Christianity,” Atldax told The Associated Press. “I’m not a Satanist myself, but I have a great dislike for organized religion.”
Active statements against religions whose adherents regularly stab those who make active statements against it or whose adherents routinely blow up innocent commuters remain strangely absent.
(Submitted to the Outside the Beltway Traffic Jam.)
What’s The Right To Private Property Worth?
In Clayton, it’s:
“We remain convinced that the project to keep Centene’s headquarters in Clayton and generate 800 new jobs is in the best interests of the people of Clayton and the entire region,” [Clayton Mayor Mike] Schoedel said.
You, citizen, might see successful businesses in attractive locations in downtown Clayton, but that’s why you’re not a visionary civic leader ready to strip that land from its owner and award it to a more powerful local corporation. So shut up, and suffer your betters’ whims.
Handy
Hey, Web developers, here are some handy cheat sheets for HTML, CSS, JavaScript, and such: http://www.blogsip.com/node/45
(Link courtesy of Bucci.)
Pope Extends Right to Vote to Fetuses
Pope Benedict says:
“The loving eyes of God look on the human being, considered full and complete at its beginning,” Benedict said in his weekly address to the faithful gathered in St. Peter’s Square.
Ergo, who are we to oppress those little complete human beings and deny them all the rights of full and complete human beings, including the right to vote and to hold drivers’ licenses?
U.S. Trade Deficit Narrows
Well, that’s what I take away from this story, with the following quote from Toronto mayor David Miller:
“The U.S. is exporting its problem of violence to the streets of Toronto,” he said.
Well, you export what’s in demand, don’t you?
(Submitted to the Outside the Beltway Traffic Jam.)
New Year’s Resolution
Same thing as last year: 1280 x 1024.
2005: The Year’s Reading In Review
As some concede defeat in the Fifty Book Challenge, you, gentle reader, have suffered through no fewer than 96 book reviews this year (and one forthcoming). Here’s my list from 2005*:
- Blood on the Arch by Robert J. Randisi
- Three Survived by Robert Silverberg
- Raymond Chandler’s Philip Marlowe edited by Byron Preiss
- From a Buick 8 by Stephen King
- A Monkey’s Raincoat by Robert Crais
- Stalking the Angel by Robert Crais
- Lullaby Town by Robert Crais
- Free Fall by Robert Crais
- Voodoo River by Robert Crais
- Savage Love by Dan Savage
- In the Shadow of the Bear by Michael Sheehan
- Sunset Express by Robert Crais
- Quotations from Speaker Newt edited by Amy D. and Peter W. Bernstein
- Indigo Slam by Robert Crais
- L.A. Requiem by Robert Crais
- Demolition Angel by Robert Crais
- Kittens and Cats in colour
- Hostage by Robert Crais
- The Last Detective by Robert Crais
- The Forgotten Man by Robert Crais
- Treachery by Bill Gertz
- Entertainment Weekly The 100 Greatest Movies of All Time
- A Century of Enterprise in St. Louis 1894-1994 by Rockwell Gray
- Star Trek 5 by James Blish
- The American Zone by L. Neil Smith
- Cold Service by Robert B. Parker
- Star Trek 6 by James Blish
- Duty by Bob Greene
- Three from the 87th by Ed McBain
- Go Directly to Jail edited by Gene Healy
- Needlepoint on Plastic Canvas by Elisabeth Brenner De Nitto
- It by Stephen King
- The Official Rules at Work by Paul Dickson
- The Weather of the Heart by Madeleine L’Engle
- Paul Harvey’s The Rest of the Story by Paul Aurandt
- The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
- The Dick Tracy Casebook Selected by Max Allan Collins and Dick Locher
- A Man of Affairs by John D. MacDonald
- Supercomputer by Edward Packard
- Area of Suspicion by John D. MacDonald
- Star Trek 7 by James Blish
- I Can’t Fight This Feeling…. Edited by David Cassidy
- Jump the Shark by Jon Hein
- The Action Hero’s Handbook by David Borgenicht and Joe Borgenicht
- N-Space by Larry Niven
- Felton & Fowler’s Best, Worst, and Most Unusual by Bruce Fenton and Mark Fowler
- Mr. Murder by Dean Koontz
- Easy Prey by John Sandford
- The Enforcer by Wesley Morgan
- Appaloosa by Robert B. Parker
- The Last Dance by Ed McBain
- Mobtown by Jack Kelly
- Modern Manners by P.J. O’Rourke
- The Long Valley by John Steinbeck
- Chosen Prey by John Sandford
- Naked Prey by John Sandford
- The Last Jihad by Joel C. Rosenberg
- Ring of Truth by Nancy Pickard
- Desperately Seeking Susan by Susan Dworkin
- Borderline by Gerry Boyle
- The Precipice by Ben Bova
- Murder in the Wind by John D. MacDonald
- Star Trek 9 by James Blish
- Cyber Way by Alan Dean Foster
- The Best of National Lampoon #3
- Partisans by Alistair MacLean
- Star Trek 10 by James Blish
- Caravan to Vaccares by Alistair MacLean
- Deliver Us From Evil by Sean Hannity
- Strip Tease by Carl Hiaasen
- Movies and TV: The New York Public Library Book of Answers by Melinda Corey and George Ochoa
- The Empty Copper Sea by John D. MacDonald
- Hark by Ed McBain
- The Devil’s Code by John Sandford
- The Power of Judyism by Judy Tenuta
- The World’s Best Dirty Jokes by “Mr. J”
- American Diplomacy 1900-1950 by George F. Kennan
- TV Superstars ’83 by Ronald W. Lockmann
- The World of Raymond Chandler edited by Miriam Gross
- Superstitious by R.L. Stine
- Killing Raven by Margaret Coel
- The Season to be Wary by Rod Serling
- The Columnist by Jeffrey Frank
- The Night Spider by John Lutz
- School Days by Robert B. Parker
- What’s It All About, Charlie Brown? By Jeffrey H. Loria
- All These Condemned by John D. MacDonald
- Ruled Britannia by Harry Turtledove
- The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King
- The Book of Lists 3 by Amy Wallace, David Wallechinsky, and Irving Wallace
- Bag Limit by Steven F. Havill
- Christine by Stephen King
- Firestarter by Stephen King
- Man Plus by Frederick Pohl
- Mommy Knows Worst by James Lileks
- A Specter Is Haunting Texas by Fritz Leiber
- Floodgate by Alistair MacLean
* My personal annual goals list runs from December 25, 2004 through December 25, 2005; hence, the first items on the list have post dates in 2004. Also note that these reflect books I have finished in the time period and that I might have begun the books in college, I count them if I finish them.


