Choosy Beggars

Here’s what you should put in a “perfect” Scouting for Food bag this year:

  • 2 cans of hearty soup, stew or chili supply many nutrients;
  • 2 cans of tuna, chicken, salmon or luncheon meat contain protein and iron, and canned salmon is a source of calcium and omega-3 fatty acids;
  • 1 can of fruit supplies vitamins A and C, folate, potassium, fiber and other healthy substances;
  • 1 can of 100 percent pure fruit juice contains vitamin C and often beta carotene;
  • 1 can of vegetables supplies beta carotene, vitamin C, folate, complex carbohydrates, fiber and potassium;
  • 1 can of tomato or pasta sauce contains lycopene, a healthy substance that is more available to your body in canned and cooked tomatoes than in fresh tomatoes;
  • 1 canned meal offers a variety of ingredients and nutrients;
  • 1 can of beans contains plenty of protein, complex carbohydrates and fiber; and
  • 1 can of evaporated milk makes an excellent source of calcium and protein.

Here’s what you’re getting out of the Noggle home again this year, same as last year:

  • Any cans of meat, such as Spam, we received as a joke.
  • Any stray cans of stuff that I bought on sale as a bachelor (but was too lazy to prepare) which archeological digs have uncovered in our pantry.
  • The annual can of clam chowder that I buy because I like clam chowder (but was too lazy to prepare). Because Heather doesn’t like the the smell, she gets rid of the can by any means necessary.
  • A can of mandarin oranges. Where do they keep coming from?
  • A can or two of corn or beans that we have, which we would eat on our own but because we have an extra, we throw it in.
  • Any cans of french-cut green beans bought by mistake. Probably by me.

I mean, come on, it’s charity. I give surplus and cast offs. Whenever someone starts telling me what to give, I think he or she is about one step away from telling me what he or she wants to take and one and a half steps away from just taking it.

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