How to mortify your beautiful wife into perpetuity in easy steps:
- Comment for a year that you’re thinking about getting a new suit since you haven’t owned one in fifteen years, since you got that one for $5 at a flea market but ruined it by getting grease all over the back of the jacket while helping prepare the hall for the wedding reception of your then beautiful girlfriend’s friends.
- Receive a gift card for a men’s clothier for your birthday.
- Pick out a tasteful suit, and by “pick out,” I mean let the salesman do it for you. For an extra charge, they will actually put animal tags in them for you.
- Match up the tigers on Sunday morning.
- Tell everyone that you came to church in your birthday suit.
This will never, ever get old.
To me.
