Those Responses That Could Put Me In The Hoosegow

I’ve got a package I’m going to mail, so I’m preparing myself for the inevitable question from the postal clerk:

– (BOOL)textFieldShouldReturn:(UITextField *)theTextField {
if (theTextField == self.textField) {
[theTextField resignFirstResponder];
return YES;

Oops, sorry, wrong thing on the clipboard. Silly Macintosh! CTRL+C means copy that text.

Nadine, the postal clerk in the little cinderblock post office that serves my zip code, will actually ask:

Does this parcel contain anything fragile, liquid, perishable, or potentially hazardous?

Of course, I spend mental clock cycles coming up with smart alec responses:

  • Potentially hazardous? If it’s caught in hurricane-force winds, it can go right through a tree.
  • Perishable? In a millenium, it will be reduced to its component molecules. All except the bubble-wrap.
  • Liquid? It’s $640,000,000 in negotiable bearer bonds!
  • Fragile? Depends on how hard you hit it.
  • It’s very flammable; it burns if you put it in a fire.

I’m lucky that Nadine has a good sense of humor. I’m also smart enough to never, ever joke with a government employee I’m not related to through blood and am on very good terms with. Because one quip could get you on a no-fly list or put on the ground, brotha.

2 thoughts on “Those Responses That Could Put Me In The Hoosegow

  1. When I see a physician and they ask me if I smoke, my answer is, “Only when I’m on fire.”

Comments are closed.