Why Do You Think I Need To Know This?

Whenever the northeast, that is, New York City and Washington, D.C., get severe weather, Weather.com puts a banner atop my local weather to give me this relevant and ultraimportant news:

This just in: This won't affect you

Seriously, this won’t affect me. I don’t care what trials and hardships those in the corridors of rule suffer. Temperatures near 100 degrees? Here in Missouri, we call that summer. Tornadoes? Here in Missouri, we call that spring.

It’s just OMG! to people who have not traveled outside of the northeast. Seriously.