As you might know, I spent a lot of time on the road this weekend, and I like to take a couple of audiobooks on the road with me. This time, I chose a piece of nonfiction and a piece of fiction. This audiobook was the nonfiction. The title and premise seems to lend itself to a rather conservatarian premise–that public schools suck–so I thought this would be a nice round-up of history to pass the time. Something with which I could build my stock of trivia and with which I could comfortably agree about the way public schools are failing our students. However, to quote a famous military strategist and analyst who frequently appears at the news site Fark.com, “It’s a trap!”
Davis, read by Jeff Woodman with Jonathan Davis, starts out by saying that students overlook history because the classes are boring, and that the narratives don’t display the historical figures as men and sometimes women with foibles. Personally, I disagree with that. I think kids don’t get into history because modern textbooks have been boiled down to a bland lowest common denominator with the highest possible message woven into the narrative, even if coloring had to be added to make the pattern fit. That, and kids are kids and don’t want to read books anyway. So I subtly disagreed with Davis from about two minutes into the drive. I can agree to disagree.
I should mention that this particular version is an abridgement, so it’s possible the wrath I am about to recount should strike the abridger and not the author–but the author approved the abridgement, so he’s as responsible for the bastardization of history as much as the, uh, mother? Okay, this metaphor broke down early, but there’s what passes for a disclaimer.
The audiobook is 3 CDs. About three hours. The first vignettes–it’s a set of brief stories from history, relayed in a question and answer format–dealt with settling the continent and the revolution, so its on track for a good pacing of history. Hey, passable narratives and foibles for everyone–a lot of our founding fathers were womanizers and alcoholics. Kinda like contemporary citizens. And I got my dose of trivia–Remember “One if by land, two if by sea”? Know which one it was? I do.
However, by the middle of the second CD, halfway through the piece, the damn thing was already past World War II–the part of history with which the author had direct experience and hatchets to directly grind, so he got to rubbing the whetstone. Civil rights! Camelot! The Saint Doctor Martin Luther King, Junior–no foibles like those promised in the introduction, just angelism.
And for the last CD, let’s recap the post Kennedy world: Vietnam was BAD! Republican President Nixon, Liar. Nothing about Carter except that he beat Ford. In the years between 1980-1988, Republican President Reagan, or the people covering for his incapacitation, do Iran-Contra. In 1991, Republican President George Bush leads the nation to war for oiiiiiil. In the years 1992-2000, the media and the evil Republicans attack Bill Clinton. In 2000 (it’s a revised and expanded edition, don’t you know?) a damn Republican steals the election.
The CDs run three hours. It took me almost six hours of interstate to finish them. Once I got to the last CD, I had to rinse every couple of seconds with some country music. Fortunately, the middle of Illinois has three things: corn, classic rock, and country. I was hoarse soon after the Wisconsin border from fusking the text. But I listened to the whole damn thing because I am a glutton for punishment. Or stupid. I prefer to think I am a glutton because (1) it’s a deadly sin and (2) because it sounds cool when pronounced, accusingly, with a faux French accent.
I cannot attribute the general population’s lack of knowledge of history to the condescension inherent in these “educational” books which warp the facts of history–call it spin, call it whatever you want, but textbooks and even popular bits like this contain more “narrative” and inferred meaning than are really necessary to convey the facts. In many cases, these “special features” can turn readers and students off to the content or to the actual history behind the content. Don’t know much about history? You’ll only know a little more after you finish this book, but you’ll certainly get a particular story that–the author hopes–will make you think and vote “intelligently” and “appropriately,” citizen.
