Author: Brian J. Noggle

Bad:

The world’s whales, porpoises and dolphins have no standing to sue President Bush over the U.S. Navy’s use of sonar equipment that harms marine mammals, a federal appeals court ruled Wednesday.

Worse:

A three-judge panel of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, widely considered one of the most liberal and activist in the country, said it saw no reason why animals should not be allowed to sue but said they had not yet been granted that right.

No accusations yet from either campaign on disenfranchising aquatic-mammal-American voters.

Although bear in mind John Kerry communicates with dolphins.

The James A. Igert Memorial Scholarship at Northern Michigan University accepts donations all year long.

Help a kid, preferably a veteran kid, study the sciences in the U.P.

That’s Upper Penninsula to those of you from outside the north, and it refers to the fact that the state Michigan actually comprises two different penninsulas. For crying out loud, look at a map. I’m not making this stuff up.

Truer insight into the municipal mind was never gained than the following line from a column in the Shepherd Express:

As strong feelings about preserving the City of Franklin’s natural areas clash with the need for a tax base to pay for the amenities people need to live there, the peaceful setting this southern Milwaukee County suburb is known for has been disrupted.

Yep, it’s not about an efficient, inobtrusive government and a low tax rate; it’s about the amenities.

Municipal governments feel the need to compete with other municipal governments’ water parks and whatnot, regardless of whether their tax bases can support such ongoing expenditures.

Okay, so as Ann Althouse recounts, John Kerry came to Sheboygan, Wisconsin, and misprounounced braht as braat:

Now, I see in Chris Sullentrop’s report in Slate, that Kerry actually did mispronounce brat:

Here in Sheboygan, during a “Kerry-Edwards ’04 Brat Fry,” Kerry adds to the litany [of regional mistakes] Friday by referring to the local food as a short-A “brat,” the way you would refer to a spoiled child. “Brot!” yell members of the crowd. For good measure, Kerry makes the mistake at the end of his speech, too. “Before I get a chance to have some braaats …” “Brots!!” some women near me shout in frustration.

For crying out loud! How inept do your people have to be, when taking you to a brat fry not to tell you “remember it’s brot”?

Okay, so this mispronouncement highlights how Kerry’s not really down with the upper midwest pleble, but look, it could have been worse:

• He could have called it le Braaat.
• He could have called it a “bratwurst sandwich.”

  Note: This hyperlink refers to an AP photo caption which says “Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., gets a grilled bratwurst sandwich at a campaign rally in Sheboygan, Wisc. Friday, Oct. 15, 2004. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert).” The hyperlink doesn’t seem too stable, so you might have to click next and previous until you find the photo. Link originally seen on Wizbang!)

• He could have pronounced the city name She-boy-band.
• He could have made a remark about he wished he could wash it down with an icy cold Budweiser.
• He could have praised Mike Sherman, coach of the Green Bay Packers. Undoubtedly, that would have sparked a riot.

So you see, this proves that John Kerry is, as Esquire put it on its June 2004 cover, a political badass. Because he doesn’t make as many verbal gaffes as he possibly could.

Not that you’d hear about it elsewhere than blogs or in a column in a small town paper in the region in which Kerry committed the gaffe, because unlike Bush, Kerry is smart, so these mispronounciations and other misstatements are trifling errata, not insight into his insipid chimpish simplicity.

Here in Casinoport the municipal government faces a deficit and wants to raise taxes:

On Nov. 2, Maryland Heights’ voters will decide on several measures, including an increase in the business license tax, proposed by the City Council to address a projected longterm General Fund shortfall.

(Source: The October 2004 newsletter.)

Scientific analysis has determined:

Based on an analysis by the city’s Finance Department, if current levels of revenues and expenditures remain unchanged, the city will face a $4.5 million General Fund deficit over the next five years. Anticipated inflation and cost-of-living increases for city employees are the major forces behind the projected deficit.

You know, I am not an accountant, but if I had to point a finger at underlying causes for a budget deficit, I might look at:

• The Aquaport, the city’s water park which was constructed when funds were flush and now contributes ongoing expenses, even when funds aren’t.
• Maryland Heights Center, the city’s community center which was constructed when funds were flush and now contributes ongoing expenses, even when funds aren’t.
• Redesigning the city logo because the old one was 19 years old. Not only did the city get less-than-free help from professionals, but it then had to apply this new logo to all buildings, vehicles, signs, and so on.
• The new City Government Center, which will cost $21,000,000 if completed on budget. Again, this will undoubtedly increase ongoing annual expenses.

Thank you. I think a little foresight might have prevented this catastrophe, but the government is only doing its job, which apparently it has conceived of as spending all available taxpayer dollars and then demanding more.

James Lileks, in his Newhouse News column this week:

As a young and ambitious man, John Kerry famously asked: How do you ask someone to be the last man to die for a mistake? Good question. Perhaps President Kerry will explain how you ask someone to be the first person to die for a nuisance.

A paid blogger, which is paid less than and is only as believable as a newspaper columnist, named Kevin Drum draws attention to insubstantive issues in the Presidential race:

Look, I don’t think it’s a transmitter beaming secret prompts into Bush’s ear. But as these pictures from each of the three debates shows, there’s very clearly something there. The White House can’t just blandly write it off as a weird internet rumor when photos from three separate debates all show it.

So what’s going on? The Bush campaign has denied it’s a bulletproof vest but hasn’t otherwise commented. Is it a back brace? A medical contraption? A secret security device of some kind? (If so, it’s not a secret anymore.) Why hasn’t the White House press corps asked Scott McClellan about this and demanded a straight answer? How can they allow themselves to be blown off about something this peculiar?

Shouldn’t someone get a serious answer to this question? He is the president of the United States, after all.

Like a lot of us, Drum confuses earnest with serious, much like academic philosophers confuse authentic with virtuous, real with good, and other concepts that sometimes coincide, but not as often as earnest, authentic, and real people would have you believe.

Unfortunately, although he highlights something and says it’s interesting, he really doesn’t add anything to the story. Unlike yours truly.