Through These Eyes #2: The Culture Class Celebration
Every school has its ideas for a multicultural curriculum. Marquette's was the following class. Important note to remember: the ASMU is a student body with no bearing on the governing of Marquette University, which leaves them free to pomp and preen for the student newspapers and for their own consciences without having to worry about the practical concerns of a university. This column, by the way, sparked the most controversy of anything I have written; other students wrote each other and the editor to call me and each other pigs for several weeks.Congratulations all around, my fellow liberals, for we have indeed scored a major victory recently with the ASMU's passage mandating a new three credit core requirement with "Foundations of American Culture". Not only did we overcome the objections of the right-wing conservative scum that make up most of the student body, but to teach them a lesson not to stand in front of our steamroller, we changed it from a one credit to a three credit requirement. That's flexing our muscle.
The fact that some of our opponents raised some valid arguments against our proposal is not important. We can simply place them all in the same class as the few who jeered at our rallies and used racial slurs. It's a lot easier when we remember that all our opponents are small minded, and it is up to us chosen few to help educate them to what is politically correct, even if we have to force-feed it to them.
The important thing is that we don't equate this small victory with winning the war. This is but one course designed to cover all the minorities that have influenced America in all of its history. Currently Marquette requires its freshmen in the College of Arts and Sciences to take TWO semesters of history, which of course means WASP history. To make things fair to all minority groups in this country, we should just as well have two courses for ALL minority groups. This includes Native Americans, Asians, Africans, Latinos, and such. Why limit it to ethnic groups? We should also create new classes specifically focusing on the contributions of different religious groups: Islam, Buddhism, Druidism, etc. By my calculation, that is a wonderful FORTY-EIGHT credits of politically correct thought!
Just think how future minded this is! Eventually, with all the required classes we shall create, we will have to create specific departments for each minority! Bachelors of Arts degrees granted to those who can stomach the right amount of courses and spout the right line when asked! Why, think how intellectually stimulating it would be to have a radical professor preaching one of the freshman classes, exhorting how bad America and its White Racist Patriarchal society is because it oppresses his or her right to free speech and expression! It gives me a warm feeling inside and a thrill to be able to help bring about this much needed change.
Now, about those who will oppose us.... It is certain we will meet with opposition, for many great visionary movements of the past have been besieged by those who are not of correct mind-set. The correct way for us to deal with such people is, of course, by labeling them as racists. That way we establish ourselves a step above them intellectually and effectively have a means to negate whatever they might say. What the heck, he's a racist anyway. Historically, such tactics have worked pretty well. Remember Salem?
We won this time. The battle is won, but not the war. It will take perseverance and a brilliant offense to win the war. We have the evil racists scrambling for cover, but we must not relent for an instant, lest they regroup! Let us pressure the administration to accept our proposal for this new class. Flood their offices with letters, call them on the telephone, conduct sit-ins in their offices! Feel free to let the passion take you, to hurl obscenities, and use the term "Racist" and "Pig" liberally. Persecute and oppress to end persecution and oppression!
Next Column: Liberal Strategy