The Cynic Express(ed) 1.19: Paying my Dues

     January ends and the Roman god of new beginnings turns his back upon us as he does every year, which means that we have reached that annual rabbit and the hare race between the receipt of our W-2 Wage Withholding Statements and April 15. I have filed early this year, earlier than I have in past years because I am receiving a refund from the government as opposed to getting shellacked for an extra five hundred. As I dot the t's and cross the i's of my telefile form, I have to reflect on the values received for the two thousand dollars of my earned money that the government gets to keep.

     For starters, I drove about thirty-five thousand miles last year, most of which I spent on interstate highways. That is less than six cents a mile, which is not bad. Mostly plowed and mostly level. And that is only one of the smaller benefits I received from the government.

     I was kept safe from foreign invasion. Granted, there are few resources on the little patch of South Saint Louis County real estate I squat on that a major foreign power would want, but it would be a great inconvenience nevertheless. Come to think of it, federal, state, and local officials saw to it that no domestic hellion invaded my personal space last year, either. So my two thousand bought a twenty-four hour security net, albeit it one stretched a little thin. But no one looted my home.

     A portion of my proceeds went to make sure that the cashier at the movie theater can, without the use of her computerized terminal, calculate my change from a popcorn and a large soda and get within a dollar or two. The system is in place, though, to provide that education, whether students (or more often, the not) want to use it to learn about the world around them that does not include the new Leonardo DiCaprio pin-up. Most countries in the world don't have such a set of institutions, edifices, and often caring individuals for the students to pump for knowledge.

     Besides that, the government provided me with a greater and only slightly more costly expensive entertainment that Titanic--namely, its own functioning (and I do prefer comedies anyway). The machinations and posturings of the government were worth the price of admission alone--worth more than the two hundred and eighty five movie tickets I could have bought anyway. With the continual slapstick he said/she said between the Republicans and the Democrats, between Congress and the President, I have had enough belly laughs and one-liners to keep me satisfied with my government.

     Of course, one thing my tax dollars did do for me was to continue to fund a government whereunder I can write things like this and mock it to my heart's mirth. I can do so without fear of official reprisal. And when this year, when the grinding gears of the electoral process chug-chug to life, I can take my dissatisfaction to the polls and try to fix it. Without the funding, all of these things would be lost. I'll drop my two gees into the kettle for a better America.