{"id":8958,"date":"2011-02-07T07:39:04","date_gmt":"2011-02-07T13:39:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=8958"},"modified":"2011-02-07T07:39:04","modified_gmt":"2011-02-07T13:39:04","slug":"ipods-apple-products-will-destroy-humanity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2011\/02\/07\/ipods-apple-products-will-destroy-humanity\/","title":{"rendered":"iPods, Apple Products Will Destroy Humanity"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s not carbon exhaust causing global warming; it’s the small magnetic fields generated by iPods and smartphones that are causing the magnetic poles to shift or disappear<\/a>:<\/p>\n

\nNASA has been warning about it\u2026scientific papers have been written about it\u2026geologists have seen its traces in rock strata and ice core samples\u2026<\/p>\n

Now “it” is here: an unstoppable magnetic pole shift that has sped up and is causing life-threatening havoc with the world’s weather.<\/p>\n

Forget about global warming\u2014man-made or natural\u2014what drives planetary weather patterns is the climate and what drives the climate is the sun’s magnetosphere and its electromagnetic interaction with a planet’s own magnetic field.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And:<\/p>\n

\nThe first evidence we have that the dangerous superstorm cycle has started is the devastating series of storms that pounded the UK during late 2010.<\/p>\n

On the heels of the lashing the British Isles sustained, monster storms began to lash North America. The latest superstorm\u2014as of this writing\u2014is a monster over the U.S. that stretched across 2,000 miles affecting more than 150 million people.<\/p>\n

Yet even as that storm wreaked havoc across the Western, Southern, Midwestern and Northeastern states, another superstorm broke out in the Pacific and closed in on Australia.<\/p>\n

The southern continent had already dealt with the disaster of historic superstorm flooding from rains that dropped as much as several feet in a matter of hours. Tens of thousands of homes were damaged or destroyed. After the deluge tiger sharks were spotted swimming between houses in what was once a quiet suburban neighborhood.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Okay, maybe I’m inferring a little more than the report states. However, as a respected Internet commentator, I must call immediately for all hipsters to drop their gadgets and buy Toyota Tundras to combat the global cooling.<\/p>\n

For the children! And by the children<\/em>, I mean of course my children<\/em> since the faceless and manufactured hipster nemesis does not clutter his and her lifestyle with children.<\/p>\n

Also, I call upon Hindmost Obama to increase the bonfires of American currency immediately to help warm the eastern seaboard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s not carbon exhaust causing global warming; it’s the small magnetic fields generated by iPods and smartphones that are causing the magnetic poles to shift or disappear: NASA has been warning about it\u2026scientific papers have been written about it\u2026geologists have seen its traces in rock strata and ice core samples\u2026 Now “it” is here: an […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8958"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8958\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8960,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8958\/revisions\/8960"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}