{"id":7394,"date":"2003-12-10T20:47:00","date_gmt":"2003-12-11T02:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2003\/12\/10\/7394\/"},"modified":"2010-11-07T09:54:15","modified_gmt":"2010-11-07T15:54:15","slug":"7394","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2003\/12\/10\/7394\/","title":{"rendered":"Introducing <i>Johnk<\/i>"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>All right, I can&#8217;t leave it alone.<\/p>\n<p>However, I am introducing a new placeholder for that most unwordly of unwordlies, the dreaded f-word which appears on this blog slightly less than <a href=\"http:\/\/nicedoggie.net\" target=\"new\">The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler<\/a>.  All three of my regular readers know I prefer <i>schnuck<\/i> as a stand-in, based upon an essay I wrote some time ago about the need for better, more creative cursing.  That essay&#8217;s lost to antiquity, but the message lives on.<\/p>\n<p>And so in honor of John F. Kerry, indistinguished (some politicial office holder or another) of (some tiny, self-important coastal state), I introduce <i><b>johnk<\/b><\/i>, a single syllable which can capture every sort of meaning the f-word can, and with less shock among women and children and definitely more mockery of the Democrat party.<\/p>\n<p>Plus, let&#8217;s savor the word itself.  A single syllable word with a nice, hard terminal consonant rox.  Try it:  <b>Johnk!<\/b>.  Ooh yeah.  And if you slur the first syllable, it can be haughty and French-sounding.  <b>Zzzzhonc!<\/b>  That&#8217;s a twofer you don&#8217;t get with an unvoiced labiodental fricative.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>As an addendum, I wish to say to the driver of that red Aztek that ran a red light on Hanley to cut across three lanes of traffic to make a left turn from the right lane this afternoon, <i>Johnk you, you johnking heinzingjohnker.  I hope the Jaws of Life bite into your candy-apple vehicle and find half a worm.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>All right, I can&#8217;t leave it alone. However, I am introducing a new placeholder for that most unwordly of unwordlies, the dreaded f-word which appears on this blog slightly less than The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. All three of my regular readers know I prefer schnuck as a stand-in, based upon an essay I wrote some time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7394"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7394\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8361,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7394\/revisions\/8361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}