{"id":6784,"date":"2003-05-03T21:21:00","date_gmt":"2003-05-04T02:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2003\/05\/03\/6784\/"},"modified":"2017-11-02T14:27:37","modified_gmt":"2017-11-02T19:27:37","slug":"6784","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2003\/05\/03\/6784\/","title":{"rendered":"Crazy 94-Year Old Runs Riot in Norway"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t know what havoc the police thought this <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ananova.com\/news\/story\/sm_756596.html\" target=\"new\">94-year-old jogger<\/a> was seeking, but they got right to the bottom of it.  Turns out she had not garrotted the night orderly with a jump rope, flailed the nursing supervisor with an un-Velcroed one pound ankle weight, and choked the nursing home warden by feeding him his enterprise&#8217;s own Ensure in her Buy-It-Now for freedom and the start of a new crime spree.<\/p>\n<p>Nope, she was just jogging.<\/p>\n<p>But you can never be too careful.<\/p>\n<p>To alleviate any confusion, and to put our municipal authorities at ease, I shall remain in the recliner.  Thank you, that is all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t know what havoc the police thought this 94-year-old jogger was seeking, but they got right to the bottom of it. Turns out she had not garrotted the night orderly with a jump rope, flailed the nursing supervisor with an un-Velcroed one pound ankle weight, and choked the nursing home warden by feeding him [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6784","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6784","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6784"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6784\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17185,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6784\/revisions\/17185"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6784"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6784"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6784"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}