{"id":567,"date":"2004-01-02T22:12:00","date_gmt":"2004-01-02T22:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=567"},"modified":"2018-08-09T17:16:31","modified_gmt":"2018-08-09T22:16:31","slug":"567","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2004\/01\/02\/567\/","title":{"rendered":"Suburban Knees Jerk"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Memorandum to a neighbor:<\/p>\n<p>Dear sir, and undoubtedly you are a <i>sir<\/i> and not a <i>ma&#8217;am<\/i>, I understand that the weather was nice in Casinoport, Missouri today, with a temperature reaching <i><b>seventy-one degrees FARENHEIT<\/b><\/i>, but what on earth prompted you to go to your shed or garage, get out, and start your <i><b>lawn mower<\/b><\/i> on the second of January?<\/p>\n<p>Pray tell, how much shorter did you want your brown lawn to be?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Memorandum to a neighbor: Dear sir, and undoubtedly you are a sir and not a ma&#8217;am, I understand that the weather was nice in Casinoport, Missouri today, with a temperature reaching seventy-one degrees FARENHEIT, but what on earth prompted you to go to your shed or garage, get out, and start your lawn mower on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-567","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=567"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22477,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/567\/revisions\/22477"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=567"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=567"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=567"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}