{"id":357,"date":"2003-10-11T00:39:00","date_gmt":"2003-10-11T00:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=357"},"modified":"2018-08-03T14:57:29","modified_gmt":"2018-08-03T19:57:29","slug":"357","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2003\/10\/11\/357\/","title":{"rendered":"High Drinks Not Yet a Felony"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The <i>St. Louis Post-Dispatch<\/i> (literally, after the train has left the station), we have <a href=\"http:\/\/www.stltoday.com\/stltoday\/news\/stories.nsf\/News\/B86E2C61EBEB5B9586256DBB0010279C?OpenDocument&#038;Headline=Passenger's+flight+menu%3A+Rum+and+commotion+\" target=\"new\">this tale of intoxicated airline woe<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Amelia Hernandez said she slipped some rum onto a New York-to-Dallas flight just to &#8220;calm her nerves.&#8221; But by the Midwest, she was singing and swearing and scaring the flight crew into an unscheduled landing at St. Louis just to boot her off.<\/p>\n<p>She capped the day May 5 by thumping a Lambert Field police officer in the head and kicking a window out of a squad car. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Yes, well, that sounds pretty serious.  Fortunately, someone in the government had a heart, and she got a plea bargain:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Hernandez pleaded guilty in U.S. District Court to <b>a misdemeanor charge of drinking liquor in flight that was not served by a crew member<\/b>, which many people might not realize is a crime. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>With so many laws, it&#8217;s so easy to miss a few, unless you&#8217;re a prosecutor.<\/p>\n<p>But to offer a some advice, I offer the following list of things which you might not realize are also against the law regarding air travel:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>It is against the law to bring your own peanuts onto any domestic or international flight.\n<li>It is against the law to mentally undress your flight attendant.\n<li>It is against the law to cross the center white line; this is reckless flying.\n<li>It is against the law to request lots of money and parachutes and then jump out of the plane over the Pacific Northwest.\n<\/ul>\n<p>Cripes, I was going to try to be funny under the rubric of &#8220;If I weren&#8217;t laughing, I would be crying,&#8221; but I think I will just weep at the silly micromanaging laws passed by the picadores in the legislatures.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The St. Louis Post-Dispatch (literally, after the train has left the station), we have this tale of intoxicated airline woe: Amelia Hernandez said she slipped some rum onto a New York-to-Dallas flight just to &#8220;calm her nerves.&#8221; But by the Midwest, she was singing and swearing and scaring the flight crew into an unscheduled landing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=357"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21941,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357\/revisions\/21941"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}