{"id":2771,"date":"2005-10-30T15:52:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-30T15:52:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=2771"},"modified":"2017-12-28T08:44:52","modified_gmt":"2017-12-28T14:44:52","slug":"this-urban-legend-brought-to-you-by-the-american-dairy-association-and-your-local-grocer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2005\/10\/30\/this-urban-legend-brought-to-you-by-the-american-dairy-association-and-your-local-grocer\/","title":{"rendered":"This Urban Legend Brought to You By The American Dairy Association and Your Local Grocer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You know why they have expiration dates on yogurt?  Because that&#8217;s how long it takes <b>the fruit in fruit yogurt to ferment<\/b>.  Dude, I know a guy &#8211;he&#8217;s a friend of a friend to you&#8211;who bought a couple twelve packs of Dannon marked down because they were going to expire, and he put them in his fridge.  A week later he&#8217;s hungry, and its three days after their expiration date, but he ate a couple of them and got a buzz, so he ate them all.  He got so wasted on yogurt that he blacked out and woke up in his backyard wearing nothing but his Playboy robe.<\/p>\n<p>I guess the yogurt manufacturers put those dates on them so the grocery stores won&#8217;t sell them to underage people.  But if you want some cheap liquor without an ID card, you should look through the grocery stores&#8217; dairy cases for the old yogurt.  Sometimes, you can even find stuff that&#8217;s <i>already expired<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>Go ye forth, and pass it on.  You know it&#8217;s true, because it happened to a friend of this guy you know, and you read it on the Internet.  That&#8217;s double-checked accurate.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You know why they have expiration dates on yogurt? Because that&#8217;s how long it takes the fruit in fruit yogurt to ferment. Dude, I know a guy &#8211;he&#8217;s a friend of a friend to you&#8211;who bought a couple twelve packs of Dannon marked down because they were going to expire, and he put them in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2771","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2771"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19109,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2771\/revisions\/19109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2771"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2771"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2771"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}