{"id":23635,"date":"2018-09-15T08:32:14","date_gmt":"2018-09-15T13:32:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=23635"},"modified":"2018-09-14T08:14:35","modified_gmt":"2018-09-14T13:14:35","slug":"how-many-of-these-six-items-do-you-store-in-your-garage","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2018\/09\/15\/how-many-of-these-six-items-do-you-store-in-your-garage\/","title":{"rendered":"How Many Of These Six Items Do You Store In Your Garage?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>My insurance company has provided this listicle about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.statefarm.com\/simple-insights\/residence\/what-not-to-store-in-the-garage?&#038;cmpid=enews:10415:21099000120020180901&#038;A=TLK0J1YS000&#038;C=UDM4F4S333F\" target=\"_new\">What Not To Store in the Garage<\/a>, and I thought it would be a great chance at a quiz.<\/p>\n<p>The items are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Extra fuel<\/li>\n<li>Paint or home improvement chemicals<\/li>\n<li>Furniture<\/li>\n<li>Clothing<\/li>\n<li>Food<\/li>\n<li>Anything fragile or valuable<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>A quiz for you, I mean.  You&#8217;ll notice I have not bolded or italicised things that I store in the garage.  Because I don&#8217;t want my home insurance rates to go up based on my blog response to a listicle composed by a 23-year-old marketing intern from a series of other Internet postings he\/she\/it found.<\/p>\n<p>Note that storing extra fuel or solvents in your garage might also violate the contract you signed with your mortgage.  What, you didn&#8217;t read it?<\/p>\n<p>Not depicted, or detypeted as the case may be, on this list, other things that you might consider storing in your garage:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Automobiles.<\/b> These things can emit dangerous gases or, based on our marketing intern&#8217;s research in watching action films, might be extremely prone to explosions.<\/li>\n<li><b>Power tools.<\/b>  Which are electrocution dangers at best, death, decapitation, or disfigurement dangers at worst (according to our marketing intern, based on studious research of <em>historical documents<\/em> 80s slasher films).<\/li>\n<li><b>Anything not valuable.<\/b>  They&#8217;re hazardous to your marriage if you just keep random things (or so I&#8217;ve heard) and can be a fire hazard.<\/li>\n<li><b>Cigarettes.<\/b>  Because smoking is bad, and if you&#8217;re not planning to smoke them, you&#8217;re smuggling them, which comes with all the attendant organized crime risks.<\/li>\n<li><b>Toys from the twentieth century.<\/b>  No matter what they are, <em>they are killers<\/em> of one sort or another.  Jarts?  Books printed with lead ink?  Asbestos-stuffed teddy bears?  Chemistry kits with real acids?  Just call out the hazmat team or ordinance disposal professionals!<\/li>\n<li><b>21st Century Nerf Guns.<\/b>  Advances in Nerf technology have made it so you don&#8217;t need a BB gun to shoot your eye out.  Or, more likely, your brother&#8217;s.\n<\/ul>\n<p>I&#8217;ll not answer that list, either.<\/p>\n<p>Although if you retitle the article <em>Whatnot to Store in Your Garage<\/em>, that probably describes the contents of my garage.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My insurance company has provided this listicle about What Not To Store in the Garage, and I thought it would be a great chance at a quiz. The items are: Extra fuel Paint or home improvement chemicals Furniture Clothing Food Anything fragile or valuable A quiz for you, I mean. You&#8217;ll notice I have not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,16,42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23635","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-life","category-quizzes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23635"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23635\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23638,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23635\/revisions\/23638"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}