{"id":2138,"date":"2005-04-07T00:36:00","date_gmt":"2005-04-07T00:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=2138"},"modified":"2010-07-18T15:08:15","modified_gmt":"2010-07-18T20:08:15","slug":"2138","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2005\/04\/07\/2138\/","title":{"rendered":"You Might Be a Felon If&#8230;."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>(Inspired by <a href=\"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2005\/04\/05\/2133\/\" target=\"_new\">this book<\/a> and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy&#8230;.)<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If you have ever poured a cleaning agent or solvent down your drain without first consulting the Material Safety Data Sheet and EPA regulations&#8230;.<i><b>you might be a felon.<\/b><\/i>\n<li>If you have ever told a law enforcement official that you have committed a crime, even if you were joking or being a smart ass&#8230;..<i><b>you might be a felon.<\/b><\/i>\n<li>If you have ever put a sack of potting soil in a flowerbed before checking with the Army Corps of Engineers to find out if you&#8217;re on an officially-designated wetland&#8230;..<i><b>you might be a felon.<\/b><\/i>\n<li>If you have ever had trouble with a Federal form so you call their helpline and they tell you which box to check and you turn it in, but the helpline people were wrong&#8230;.<i><b>you might be a felon.<\/b><\/i>\n<li>If you are a doctor and your receptionist&#8217;s 1s look too much like 7s to a Medicare data entry clerk&#8230;..<i><b>you might be a felon.<\/b><\/i>\n<li>If you have ever displayed a pellet or BB gun in such a fashion that someone can see it&#8230;..<i><b><a href=\"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2004\/08\/05\/1224\/\" target=\"_new\">you might be a felon<\/a>.<\/b><\/i><\/ul>\n<p>If only it were a comedy routine and not the law of the land.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(Inspired by this book and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy&#8230;.) If you have ever poured a cleaning agent or solvent down your drain without first consulting the Material Safety Data Sheet and EPA regulations&#8230;.you might be a felon. If you have ever told a law enforcement official that you have committed a crime, even if [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2138","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-government-overreach","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2138","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2138"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2138\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6704,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2138\/revisions\/6704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2138"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2138"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2138"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}