{"id":17035,"date":"2017-10-24T08:42:18","date_gmt":"2017-10-24T13:42:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=17035"},"modified":"2017-10-23T15:57:29","modified_gmt":"2017-10-23T20:57:29","slug":"a-time-travelers-promise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2017\/10\/24\/a-time-travelers-promise\/","title":{"rendered":"A Time Traveler&#8217;s Promise"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve built a time machine powered by a glowing meteorite that fell into my back yard.  It&#8217;s only enough power for one trip back in time, so I&#8217;m either going to kill Hitler or stop Paul Granders from releasing that annoying song &#8220;Bigger Smiles&#8221; that swept the Internet and then real life when people make that obnoxious &#8220;Bigger Smile&#8221; gesture.  For Pete&#8217;s sake, every last contestant on this season of <em>American Ninja Warrior<\/em> made that stupid sign at the starting line, probably in partnership with the Bigger Smiles for Dental Hygiene Awareness Foundation.<\/p>\n<p>At any rate, I&#8217;m not decided yet, but by the time you read this, I will have made our present a better place, I hope.<\/p>\n<p><font color=\"red\"><b>UPDATE:<\/b><\/font> Mission accomplished!  Thank goodness!<\/p>\n<p>Hey, wait a minute.  What&#8217;s with this heart shape made with your hands nonsense?  Dammit!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve built a time machine powered by a glowing meteorite that fell into my back yard. It&#8217;s only enough power for one trip back in time, so I&#8217;m either going to kill Hitler or stop Paul Granders from releasing that annoying song &#8220;Bigger Smiles&#8221; that swept the Internet and then real life when people make [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17035","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-miscellany"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17035"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17036,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17035\/revisions\/17036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}