{"id":16839,"date":"2017-09-05T10:30:18","date_gmt":"2017-09-05T15:30:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=16839"},"modified":"2018-01-09T08:37:55","modified_gmt":"2018-01-09T14:37:55","slug":"a-fathers-pockets-are-a-cornucopia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2017\/09\/05\/a-fathers-pockets-are-a-cornucopia\/","title":{"rendered":"A Father&#8217;s Pockets Are A Cornucopia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A couple years back (and by a couple years, I mean <em>a decade<\/em>), all the cool kids did posts where they emptied their pockets, took a picture, and talked about what they had.  The meme ran through the gun bloggers, so you had an assortment of knives, pocket guns, spare magazines, and whatnot.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m a little behind the times, but bear with me.<\/p>\n<p>As I have mentioned, I like wearing looser khakis with decent pocket space.  I need to wear a waist size up and cinch the waist with a belt to accommodate my fat thighs, and this leaves me with lots of pocket space.  Enough to hold me until tactical harem pants come in style, anyway.<\/p>\n<p>How much pocket space do they give me?  Plenty, as demonstrated by what I carried in them on a recent trip to the local Silver Dollar City amusement park.<\/p>\n<p>So here&#8217;s my junk on the table:<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/bsgfx\/pocketsofadad.jpg\"><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>The obligatory bottle of sun screen.  The lotion, because I suspect the spray-on bottles provide plausible appliability&#8211;that is, you can say you&#8217;ve put on sun screen, but mostly you&#8217;ve sprayed some at your body and not actually covered your skin enough to protect yourself.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li><em>The Thoughts of Confucious<\/em>, a paperback I brought along because I don&#8217;t like most rides.  Was I the guy reading a book in the amusement park (while wearing khakis, no less)?  Yes.  During the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.silverdollarcity.com\/theme-park\/festivals\/Southern-Gospel-Picnic.aspx\" target=\"_new\">Southern Gospel Picnic<\/a>, too.  Talk about missing the spirit.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>A large stuffed horse for winning the shoot-water-at-a-target horse race game.  And two smaller horses given as consolation prizes to my boys, who aren&#8217;t yet as fast as their father at bringing the stream of water on target.  But soon, they will beat me at everything, so I have to enjoy these wins when I can.\n<p>Full disclosure: The big horse rode in my shirt pocket, not the pants.  But it went with the khakis, which were not actually khaki in color but black.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>A wallet that shrank as the day went on.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>A key ring that I recently reduced to the keys I actually use from a larger set that includes what looks to be a number of house keys to&#8230;what?  My home in Old Trees?  My mother&#8217;s house?  I have no idea.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>A pocket knife that I used to open a bag of chips at the park.  &#8220;Do you only use that for opening things?&#8221; my oldest son asked.  I&#8217;m not sure what else he would use a pocket knife for, but the question does not help his case that he should have a pocket knife.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>An iPhone that, I&#8217;m proud to say, only has one screen of apps on it, and most of them are things Apple won&#8217;t let me uninstall.  I AM A LUDDITE.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>A notepad and a pen.  In the old days, I&#8217;d use this for scribbling down thoughts and poem fragments.  Now it&#8217;s mostly shopping lists and films I want to rent from the video store.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li>A small lighter.  I don&#8217;t smoke, but if I&#8217;m ever in a situation where I need fire, I&#8217;ll really need it badly, and I&#8217;d hate to spend that time futilely trying to start a fire with sticks or stones and lamenting if only I had a thirty cent lighter now.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Not depicted: The theme park&#8217;s paper\/calendar of events and a collection of change that grew as the wallet shrank.<\/p>\n<p>In the olden days, the everyday pocket contents would have included wipes, little toys to amuse little boys, and whatnot.  But that&#8217;s when the post would have been entitled &#8220;A Daddy&#8217;s Pockets&#8221; instead of &#8220;A Father&#8217;s Pockets&#8221;.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A couple years back (and by a couple years, I mean a decade), all the cool kids did posts where they emptied their pockets, took a picture, and talked about what they had. The meme ran through the gun bloggers, so you had an assortment of knives, pocket guns, spare magazines, and whatnot. I&#8217;m a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16839"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16839\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19301,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16839\/revisions\/19301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}