{"id":15479,"date":"2016-09-24T12:51:21","date_gmt":"2016-09-24T17:51:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=15479"},"modified":"2016-09-24T07:17:49","modified_gmt":"2016-09-24T12:17:49","slug":"top-euphemisms-for-mowing-the-grass-at-nogglestead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2016\/09\/24\/top-euphemisms-for-mowing-the-grass-at-nogglestead\/","title":{"rendered":"Top Euphemisms For Mowing the Grass at Nogglestead"},"content":{"rendered":"

Here at Nogglestead, we could simply say mow the grass<\/em>. Not mow the lawn<\/em> which implies a square footage of uniform grass, and Nogglestead has myriad types of grasses, ground cover, and weeds in lieu of a lawn. However, mowing five acres minus the buildings that make Nogglestead truly a compound leaves one with plenty of time to think of expressions to more poetically capture the experience. So here, gentle reader, are some of the best ones.<\/p>\n

Running the Nogglestead 500<\/strong>.
\nBecause the discharge is on the right side of the mower, you’re always turning left, just like NASCAR.<\/p>\n

Driving to St. Louis In My Backyard<\/strong>
\nEarly on, I realized that the three to four hours I spend on the lawnmower when cutting the grass is about the time it takes to drive from Springfield to Saint Louis.<\/p>\n

Listening to a Long Country Marathon<\/strong>
\nAs I have recently mentioned<\/a>, my radio headphones can only pick up one station relatively clearly on every spot of the grass, and that’s a newly bro country station. So I get four hours of girl-get-up-in-my-truck punctuated with some heartbreak. Mowing the lawn does not often put me in a good mood.<\/p>\n

Closing the Flower Shop<\/strong>
\nThe youngest son still likes to pick flowers for his mother, and when I’m about a week late in mowing, it has a wide selection of flowering weeds and wild daisies for him to choose from. Until such time as I chop them all down.<\/p>\n

Feeding the Birds<\/strong>
\nOnce in a while, when I’m out mowing the back field, one or two birds will start swooping and diving around me. It weirded me out the first couple of times. I thought perhaps I was nearing their nests, and they were trying to drive me away, but it’s a relatively flat field and not good nesting for anything. Later, I realized I was kicking up some insects, and the birds were eating them.<\/p>\n

Chasing the Wildlife<\/strong>
\nIn addition to the birds and the bugs, from time to time, something will take off running or hopping ahead of the mower. I’ll slow to let a frog get out of my path, but yesterday I chased a rodent a ways to make him reconsider Nogglestead as a future home. Of course, if a rabbit takes off running, it’s best to go very, very slowly, as parent rabbits will run away from their babies to try to draw the predators away.<\/p>\n

At any rate, there are others I thought of and have forgotten. Four hours is a long time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here at Nogglestead, we could simply say mow the grass. Not mow the lawn which implies a square footage of uniform grass, and Nogglestead has myriad types of grasses, ground cover, and weeds in lieu of a lawn. However, mowing five acres minus the buildings that make Nogglestead truly a compound leaves one with plenty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15479"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15479\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15683,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15479\/revisions\/15683"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}