{"id":12579,"date":"2013-03-27T13:36:35","date_gmt":"2013-03-27T18:36:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=12579"},"modified":"2013-03-27T13:36:35","modified_gmt":"2013-03-27T18:36:35","slug":"confronted-by-a-demon-in-the-shower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2013\/03\/27\/confronted-by-a-demon-in-the-shower\/","title":{"rendered":"Confronted By A Demon In The Shower"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>So I&#8217;m minding my own business in the shower, trying in vain again to scrub the slime of softened water off, when I&#8217;m confronted by a demon.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Fructis the Soul-Renderer, Flayer of the Weak, Builder of Bodies<\/strong><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/bsgfx\/fructis.png\" alt=\"The Shampoo demon\" width=\"200\"><\/p>\n<p>I mean, seriously, who brands their froo-froo shampoo with a made-up Latin derivation that brings to mind not so much the scents of watermelon and lingonberries but the rising chant of monks in horror films featuring demons and\/or <a href=\"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2010\/02\/21\/if-the-koreans-knew-how-to-sell-cars\/\" target=\"_blank\">William Shatner<\/a> and the eventual mauling of a poor, innocent teenager.<\/p>\n<p>Triple nutrition?  That means Fructis must feast on the hearts of three virgins.<\/p>\n<p>No, this is not my shampoo.  It belongs to my beautiful wife.  I use the more manly Suave.  It&#8217;s not manly because its name implies being smooth and confident; it&#8217;s more manly because it costs less than a dollar a bottle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So I&#8217;m minding my own business in the shower, trying in vain again to scrub the slime of softened water off, when I&#8217;m confronted by a demon. Fructis the Soul-Renderer, Flayer of the Weak, Builder of Bodies I mean, seriously, who brands their froo-froo shampoo with a made-up Latin derivation that brings to mind not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12579","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12579","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12579"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12579\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12582,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12579\/revisions\/12582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12579"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12579"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12579"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}