{"id":11573,"date":"2012-06-15T09:14:43","date_gmt":"2012-06-15T14:14:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/?p=11573"},"modified":"2012-06-15T09:14:43","modified_gmt":"2012-06-15T14:14:43","slug":"those-responses-that-could-put-me-in-the-hoosegow","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/2012\/06\/15\/those-responses-that-could-put-me-in-the-hoosegow\/","title":{"rendered":"Those Responses That Could Put Me In The Hoosegow"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve got a package I&#8217;m going to mail, so I&#8217;m preparing myself for the inevitable question from the postal clerk:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8211; (BOOL)textFieldShouldReturn:(UITextField *)theTextField {<br \/>\n    if (theTextField == self.textField) {<br \/>\n        [theTextField resignFirstResponder];<br \/>\n    }<br \/>\n    return YES;<br \/>\n}<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Oops, sorry, wrong thing on the clipboard.  Silly Macintosh!  CTRL+C means copy that text.<\/p>\n<p>Nadine, the postal clerk in the little cinderblock post office that serves my zip code, will actually ask:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Does this parcel contain anything fragile, liquid, perishable, or potentially hazardous?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Of course, I spend mental clock cycles coming up with smart alec responses:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em>Potentially hazardous?  If it&#8217;s caught in hurricane-force winds, it can go right through a tree.<\/em><br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li><em>Perishable?  In a millenium, it will be reduced to its component molecules.  All except the bubble-wrap.<\/em><br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li><em>Liquid?  It&#8217;s $640,000,000 in negotiable bearer bonds!<\/em><br \/>&nbsp;<\/li>\n<li><em>Fragile?  Depends on how hard you hit it.<br \/>&nbsp;<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em>It&#8217;s very flammable; it burns if you put it in a fire.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I&#8217;m lucky that Nadine has a good sense of humor.  I&#8217;m also smart enough to never, ever joke with a government employee I&#8217;m not related to through blood <em>and<\/em> am on very good terms with.  Because one quip could get you on a no-fly list or put on the ground, brotha.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve got a package I&#8217;m going to mail, so I&#8217;m preparing myself for the inevitable question from the postal clerk: &#8211; (BOOL)textFieldShouldReturn:(UITextField *)theTextField { if (theTextField == self.textField) { [theTextField resignFirstResponder]; } return YES; } Oops, sorry, wrong thing on the clipboard. Silly Macintosh! CTRL+C means copy that text. Nadine, the postal clerk in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3334,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11573","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11573","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3334"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11573"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11573\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11576,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11573\/revisions\/11576"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11573"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11573"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brianjnoggle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11573"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}