Police: Landlord, friends used ‘scare tactics’ to force Bay Area tenants out
Category: Headlines
In Unrelated News….
‘Shark Week’ starts off with another Cape Cod beach closing:
As viewers around the country begin to sink their teeth into Discovery’s annual “Shark Week,” the aquatic predators continue to lurk around the Cape, causing numerous beach closures over the weekend.
Another shark sighting shut down a Cape Cod beach Sunday, this time at Marconi when a lifeguard saw a shark fin about 40 yards from the shore. The beach was then shut down for an hour starting at 11:45 a.m., per the Atlantic White Shark Conservancy’s Sharktivity app.
Cape Cod rentals are having an unexpectedly slow summer:
Happen to have this week off and no plans? You might still find a vacancy on Cape Cod.
A Truro cottage set atop a coastal bluff with stairs to a private beach was still available on Friday — at a $1,100 discount. It was the first time in three decades that a summer week at the cottage went unclaimed, the owner said, and it’s not the only week still available.
A mystery for the ages!
Actually, the second article does mention the shark sightings.
Me, I’m worried because shark attacks were all in the news during the summer of 2001. Then some people did something that knocked the sharks out of the headlines.
Parking Garage Owner Awarded Next Base
Springfield Cardinals balk at parking fee hike
Query: Did the headline writer know that the verb in the headline has a very specific meaning in baseball?
Speculate among yourselves.
Clearly, My Understanding of Botany Is Lacking
All 5 Arkansas medical marijuana plants under construction
Additionally, I question whether five plants is enough for a whole state.
Not THAT Abruptly
Southwest Airlines abruptly grounds 34 planes
You know what can ground planes really abruptly? Gravity.
I make jokes like this to cover my fear of flying.
Misreading the Headline, I Expected A Different Story
For those without mulch, Hurricane Michael is going to be bringing lower prices.
Sorry. I pass a local tree service company’s lot often, and they have mulch for sale, so when I see a downed tree and I think of mulch.
Headline Gives Wrong Impression
I know it’s unexpected that a headline gives the completely wrong impression, but on the home page of the Springfield News-Leader, we get this:
“Hawley will review Springfield Catholic files”.
The headline on the actual story page is much clearer: Springfield-Cape Girardeau diocese to cooperate with Hawley’s clergy abuse investigation.
What’s the problem?
Springfield Catholic generally refers to the Catholic high school in town, as this other News-Leader story shows: Tyson Riley’s heroics give Springfield Catholic a thrilling win over Seneca.
The short, pretty headline on the home page makes it sound like the state Attorney General is reviewing the school’s files in particular, which it is not.
Poor form, Peter.
He Served With Noah
Ark. Veteran Saves Mom and Child After Car Crashes into Beaver Lake
No problem for a seaman used to rounding up orangutans that have gone overboard.
How Could She Hold Her Hand Up?
A 100 pound meth ring?
Sweet Christmas, when I wed, I gave my beautiful wife a much smaller ring. I paid more because the diamond had but a few very small inclusions.
But her ring is only a couple of ounces.
I must try harder.
That Must Have Been Some Bad Sculpture
Man gets prison time for 11-pound cocaine bust in Strafford
Maybe he should have stuck to ice sculpture.
Not Young, Not Turkish
Or Turkic, whichever the people from the tribe predominantly associated with the nation state of Turkey calls themselves:
Dan Rather launching newscast on The Young Turks network.
Perhaps his news magazine will be sandwiched between thirty year old episodes of The Golden Girls.
Although perhaps Dan Rather does represent “young” amongst people who watch television news.
When Service Organizations Go Bad
Really, you would expect behavior from the Lions Club, but:
Elks gore 2 at St. Louis County park in just over 2 weeks
I can kid because both people survived, and possibly learned a lesson.
Also, note the park is Lone Elk Park. Perhaps it’s time to change the name to Murderous Multiple Elk Park to make things clearer.
Not On My Christmas List
Springfield boy receives gift of a lifetime in hospital from firefighter heroes
What do you get for that someone who has everything? A lifetime in a hospital.
Nothing Says Romance Like…
Dates Announced for Free Flu Shots in Springfield
Bring that special someone.
“The Final Countdown”, “Carrie” Grow More Expensive
YouTube ordered to pay more for music by Europe
Thank goodness this headline implies that Ace of Base is unaffected. Because, honestly, how much more would you pay to hear “The Sign” again?
The Often-Ignored Collateral Damage of Those Thor-Loki Fights
Lightning strike kills more than 300 reindeer in Norway
Won’t the Norse gods think of the reindeer?
It Might Not Be The Target Audience
It’s a Breitbart.com story entitled Outsourcing Masculinity: Where Have All the American Action Heroes Gone?:
The ad at the bottom is for a movie/non-profit about educating girls.
Probably not the best placement for good clicks.
Dr. Johnson Not Cited
Internet hoaxers aren’t even trying any more.
An article on the Daily Mail (UK) Web site linked by Instapundit bears the headline Women DO judge men on their penis size: Researchers say it is ‘as important as a man’s height’.
However, one the Internet one should be skeptical of everything, especially those sourced like this:
Writing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (a journal commonly known by its initials as PNAS), Brian Mautz, Bob Wong, Richard Peters and Michael Jennions use a clever experimental manipulation of computer-generated imagery – CGI – to test the effects of variation in penis size relative to height and torso shape (shoulder width relative to waist width) on the attractiveness of male bodies to women.
This cannot be real, can it?
I’ve looked at the universities listed with the authors, and only Richard Peters actually is at the place where it says he works (but he’s not in the Department of Zoology).
However, the study (and the news article) are three years old. So perhaps they moved on. If they ever existed.
You’re saying to yourself, Brian J. sure is working hard to discredit this study. Does it make him feel bad about himself?.
I’m not going to dignify that with a response.
I Can’t Solve For x
Man, I hate Common Core word problems.
Is hundreds the numerator or the denominator here? Were hundreds of houses from x houses decimated, or were hundreds of houses decimated with x destroyed?
Nagaina Still Unaccounted For
Missing king cobra snake found under dryer in Florida
The title, I don’t need to remind you, alludes to “Rikki-Tiki-Tavi” by Rudyard Kipling. I just read that story to my boys two weeks ago. Now, they’ll be chittering for a mongoose for sure.
Especially since Springfield, Missouri, had its own missing cobra scare in the 1950s.