Biden urges Congress to pass Ukraine aid package while expressing openness to Mexico border changes
To be honest, I wonder if the next war that the United States is involved in is the 2nd Mexican-American War.
To be able to say "Noggle," you first must be able to say "Nah."
Biden urges Congress to pass Ukraine aid package while expressing openness to Mexico border changes
To be honest, I wonder if the next war that the United States is involved in is the 2nd Mexican-American War.
The life and work of James Luther Heckenlively, one of Springfield’s most prolific architects
Heckenlively. I would not make that name up for a test user or a fictional character. But there it is.
Eating two servings of red meat increases risk of diabetes: study
Although after seeing this headline yesterday, I had planned to buy some beef for dinner, but then I remembered that my beautiful wife had mentioned a hankering for pork chops earlier in the week. So I brought home pork chops to grill instead of steaks. But not because a headline steered me away. Because I love to please my wife. And we traditionally have steaks on Fridays.
I thought it was a meme, but maybe not:
Wyndham Clark celebrates US Open win with girlfriend Alicia
Maybe they met working at one of the resort chain’s boiler rooms call centers. We actually have one or more of them here in Springfield.
A total lunar eclipse is expected to occur next week
I mean, who can trust any of the science in 2022, amirite? This might not happen.
Although the pronoun with a questionable antecedent does not make it clear whether the woman needs to kill her neighbors or the council.
Maybe the roosters, but it’s only one of three nounds in the subheadline (the capitalized headline has home and roost, none of which could be the direct object of the second).
(Note the article makes it clear they’re talking about the cockerels.)
You know what? I’ve been goofing on headlines like this for nearly two decades, but we’ve gotten to a point where I write posts like this, and I think Is this enough to serve as a pretext for a pre-dawn armed raid by the authorities because I’m posting calls for anti-authority violence? What an exciting world we live in now!
The headline oversimplifies a bit: Man left in coma after tearing bicep at gym wakes up to find he’s lost his arm:
Holy cats, he strained so hard he put himself in a coma? Not so much:
“I tore my bicep in the gym, and had some surgery a couple of days later,” he remembered.
“Two weeks after that I had a postoperative infection called necrotizing fasciitis, which gave me 11 major surgeries during a 10 day coma.”
He caught an infection in a National Health System hospital in Britain.
I would comfort myself and say that couldn’t happen here, but who knows?
I’d better take it easier.
Beloved monarch butterflies now listed as endangered by conservation group
It’s basically a press release from the International Union for the Conservation of Nature, but apparently the news story has quotes from ecologists not affiliated with the nonprofit saying the numbers of monarch butterflies have declined recently.
How recent counts match with history is impossible, because the prehistory–the time before written records were kept–of counting monarchs ended probably only decades ago–that is, all counts of monarchs, probably based on computer models rather than an actual census, began recently.
So science is probably only tangentially involved.
Bird flu arrives in Southwest after millions of birds die
Now, I am not a veterinarian or a zoologist, but I suspect the bird flu arrived just before the birds died, not after.
STL company to open 2nd HQ in Baltimore area
They mean:
STL company to plans to leave St. Louis
Although leaving St. Louis for Baltimore seems a bit like going from the frying pan into the free-fire zone.
Peloton to trial new subscription model
The verb you’re looking for is try.
Maybe the headline writer is just heeding Yoda’s advice.
Apparently, the greatest grave robbing crime in history.
So I spent some time on Thanksgiving with an X-Acto knife and fifteen-year-old copies of magazines like French Cottage and English Garden that I bought at an estate sale in the autumn and that languished on the desk in my parlor ever since. Don’t ask me what for.
But I did snicker at this article headline.
French Bohemian flair? That’s like saying Canadian Mexican flair. One suspects the headline writer only knew Bohemian as the adjective for funky hippie artistic, not that Bohemia was an actual place in Europe that’s now part of, what, the Czech Republic? Although it has been held by the Germans and the Holy Roman Empire in the past, it has never been part of France.
Oh, all right, I’ll tell you why: Because this autumn, I did a couple of découpage projects, and I bought a big bottle of Mod Podge for them, so I thought I’d pick up some magazines to look for images to use in collages. So I finally got around to cutting out promising looking images and discarding the remainder of the magazines. When my beautiful wife asked me about it, I gave her the real answer: I am generating raw materials for crafts that I won’t get around to doing, much like already clutter the shelves in the garage.
Lost memoir paints revered philosopher John Locke as ‘vain, lazy and pompous’
Just kidding. After the last season of that show, I can’t be arsed to rewatch or think much about it except to make gag blog posts.
(Headline via Powerline’s The Week in Pictures.)
But I was not standing shoulder to shoulder with her other fans: Loren Cook Fans protect Republic, MO Amazon Fulfillment Center
Just kidding. I have never heard any of her music. Is she any good?
One moment: I have been handed a note–apparently, this is a sponsored story by a ventilation company, not a group of like-aestheticked individuals coming together to stop looting.
Never mind, carry on.
Old and busted: Wine Moms.
New hotness: Wine Kids.
Winery owner to buy Missouri nursery
Wait a minute, I’ve been handed a note: The Springfield Business Journal headline is misleading. Apparently, the corporation owning the winery is buying landscaping companies.
Never mind, carry on.
And recognize that this might well be the very last time, at least according to the chronology of the writing, where you read Old and busted/new hotness.
Plymouth shooting gunman ‘is America obsessed gun nut who shared Donald Trump quotes’
Undoubtedly, his favorite was the one where Donald Trump said if you cannot get laid, you maybe should try injecting some lead into random people; it couldn’t hurt.
You might be forgiven, casual news glancer, if you started to connect Donald Trump and QAnon and Republican with anything bad ever happening anywhere on the planet.
Forgiven? Heck, you will be rewarded with up-twinkles.