That’s a Great Place for a Violent Metaphor

Posted in Headlines on January 31st, 2012 by Brian

Headline: Keep supporting fight against child abuse in the Ozarks

Yeah! Let’s beat child abuse like a red-haired stepchild!

Remember TJIC?

Posted in Headlines on October 26th, 2011 by Brian

You remember in January, a blogger in Massachusetts posted a piece about an armed insurrection, and the Massachusetts police visited him and took away his guns and essentially knocked him off the Internet? I do.

I thought of that this morning in contrast to the mobs camped out in various cities, relatively untouched by the police. Some, like the one in LA, feature calls to revolution, and in a lot of cities crimes occur near or within the encampments. Yet they go on.

What is the difference between a libertarian gun owner musing on insurrection on the Internet and large numbers of leftists gathered in cities? That’s a rhetorical question.

UPDATE: Thanks for the link, Ms. K.. Hey, gentle reader, if you’re in IT, you might find my blog QA Hates You interesting. Or disturbing.

There’s Only One Way This Headline Is Not Redundant

Posted in Headlines on August 16th, 2011 by Brian

Obama fences, parries at start of Midwestern tour

Parrying is an integral part of the sport of fencing; saying the President fences, parries is like saying the President fishes, casts his line.

The only way that headline is not redundant is if the President is selling stolen goods. Or maybe putting up some chain link. I’ll let you guess which metaphor serves him least.

Too-Open Carry

Posted in Headlines on August 12th, 2011 by Brian

Police say naked gunman flees from Illinois into Missouri

Dude, welcome to the Show-Me State. Now, don’t show us so much.

If I Find It, Is There A Reward?

Posted in Headlines on August 2nd, 2011 by Brian

Charter loses $107 million

‘Cause if there’s not, and I do, I’m not telling anyone except my local Bugatti dealer.

A Headline You Would Not Have Seen 25 Years Ago

Posted in Headlines, Music on June 1st, 2011 by Brian

Judas Priest coming to Family Arena

Well, then, it’s at the Family Arena. Bring your kids.

Hell, old man, bring your grandchildren.

Autobot-Decepticon Crossfire Is Dangerous

Posted in Headlines on May 14th, 2011 by Brian

Transformer fire may have tripped tornado sirens across St. Charles County

Vikings Fans Do Not Want 100 More Years Of Favre Retirement Speculation

Posted in Headlines on March 15th, 2011 by Brian

Bill Would Ban Human Cloning In Minnesota

But until a similar bill passes in Mississippi, we cannot be safe.

How Bad Are School Budgets These Days?

Posted in Headlines on February 28th, 2011 by Brian

Apparently, very bad:

Park Hills district may swipe textbooks for e-readers

So bad schools have to resort to theft.

Chinese Convict Imports Undercut Prices

Posted in Headlines on January 14th, 2011 by Brian

Highland organ company downsizing amid sour notes in market

You’d Think, With Their Guns And All, They Could Do It On Their Own

Posted in Headlines on January 14th, 2011 by Brian

St. Louis police ask for help in gas station robbery

And they probably will get away with it.

What Are They Going To Do When It’s Upside-Down?

Posted in Headlines on January 8th, 2011 by Brian

Headline: City sets terms for turning over old city hall

A Headline I Would Like To See

Posted in Headlines, Humor on December 19th, 2010 by Brian

Man shot seven times critical: “Obviously, he wasn’t a good shot”

Too Gauche To Mention

Posted in Headlines on December 14th, 2010 by Brian

Instapundit and others link to a story on Huffington Post about a case where a stem cell transplant seems to have cured a man of HIV:

On the heels of World AIDS Day comes a stunning medical breakthrough: Doctors believe an HIV-positive man who underwent a stem cell transplant has been cured as a result of the procedure.

Timothy Ray Brown, also known as the “Berlin Patient,” received the transplant in 2007 as part of a lengthy treatment course for leukemia. His doctors recently published a report in the journal Blood affirming that the results of extensive testing “strongly suggest that cure of HIV infection has been achieved.”

This is hardly news; here’s a Wall Street Journal article about it from 2008:

The breakthrough appears to be that Dr. Hütter, a soft-spoken hematologist who isn’t an AIDS specialist, deliberately replaced the patient’s bone marrow cells with those from a donor who has a naturally occurring genetic mutation that renders his cells immune to almost all strains of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.

Strangely, none of the coverage I’ve seen today (which points back to the Huffington Post article that links to a recent medical journal article on the treatment) highlights this salient fact:

deliberately replaced the patient’s bone marrow cells with those from a donor

Those stem cells were adult stem cells, not embryonic stem cells.

Take a look at the comment sections where people are celebrating the publication of this old finding and are also doing their best to bash George W. Bush and other people who oppose funding for or who oppose actual embryonic stem cell research. We need to amplify and clarify the source of these stem cells and this treatment to educate the public about this efficacy of adult stem cell therapies.

Otherwise, parts of the public will remain ignorant and might be encouraged to pursue policies that their countrymen find morally abhorrent to fund research of unproven avenues of medicine.

UPDATE: Welcome, Instapundit readers! If you’re in IT, you might want to check out my tech blog QA Hates You. If you’re from Missouri, you might want to check out 24th State, a blog about Missouri politics to which I contribute.

The Poor Victim Was Trying To Change

Posted in Headlines on November 27th, 2010 by Brian

2 hurt changing tire

This poor tire started its life on the wrong path, but it came to an epiphany and was working hard to get off the drugs, get off the streets, and take responsibility for its little tires, when suddenly two men show up and hurt it.

Just another story from the gritty highways of St. Louis.

We Need To Secure The Border NOW!

Posted in Headlines on November 19th, 2010 by Brian

Planet found from outside Milky Way:

Now one has been discovered orbiting a star called HIP 13044, located about 2,000 light years away. While this star is now in the Milky Way, researchers report in Thursday’s online edition of the journal Science that it originated in a separate galaxy that was later cannibalized by ours.

That makes the new planet, which is about 20 percent larger than Jupiter, the first found to have originated in another galaxy.

Extragalactic planets, coming to the Milky Way to do the jobs that Milky Wayan planets won’t do.

I call upon the Attorney General to take action now and to sue Minnesota for this.

Apparently, The Stemware Can Flout The World

Posted in Headlines on November 13th, 2010 by Brian

Headline: Obama urges china to respect international law

The President addresses the kitchenware

Maybe he is having some sort of breakdown if he’s addressing the kitchenware.

Alley Shootings Should Be Presumed Innocent

Posted in Headlines on September 22nd, 2010 by Brian

Police: Alley shooting hits man taking out trash

Alley shootings have rights, you know. Perhaps the headline writer should have thrown an “alleged” in there to make clear that the shooting might not have committed the assault as claimed, and it will have its day in court.

Obama Proposes Crochet Stimulus

Posted in Headlines on September 7th, 2010 by Brian

$6 billion planned for Afghan training

Sounds like a hook-ready project to me.

Demand, Supply Decoupled by AP

Posted in Headlines on August 17th, 2010 by Brian

I’m just a caveman, your modern science of economics confuses me. Which is why I don’t understand the new law of supply and demand I infer from this AP article: Oil up to near $76 in Europe amid economic worries:

Oil prices edged up for the first time in five days Tuesday as rallying stock markets in Europe and a weaker dollar masked concerns of a slowing global economic recovery that could dent demand for fuel.

So demand is going down, and the price goes up, huh? That’s so weird.

However, those of us with a lick of economic sense (I got mine from my high school Economics class with Miss Hutson) can suss out the real reason. Let me try rewriting that:

Oil prices edged up for the first time in five days Tuesday as a weaker dollar meant that it takes more of them to buy a fixed commodity, such as a barrel of oil, in an international market.

Is it true? Hey, I don’t know what made the price fluctuate, but I think I have a better grasp than the AP reporter of basic economics.