As you might know, gentle reader, I’ve attended a Lutheran church for about five or six years. I’m not a Lutheran, per se–I am half Catholic, being that my father was Catholic (but as my mother was not, the Catholic term for this is bastard), and I was baptised into a Church of Christ (I think–I was rather young).
But I’ve learned the Lutheran countersigns so when I walk amongst them, they don’t know that I’m a stranger. For your benefit, should you ever need to infiltrate a Lutheran church, I present this list of signs and countersigns so you know how to respond when challenged.
| Sign: | Countersign: | Comment |
| The Lord be with you. | And also with you. | |
| May the Force be with you. | And also with you. | Lutherans sometimes reply automatically even though this is not the traditional Star Wars response. |
| This is the day the Lord has made. | Let us rejoice and be glad in it. | |
| He is risen! | He is risen indeed. Hallelujah! | Especially prominent on Easter. |
Join us next time when we discuss the proper identification tokens to present. Hint: At the potluck dinner, the answer is not Lutefisk in Missouri: You should, in fact, bring a dessert to ensure that the proper balance of four desserts for every meal item such, as meat or vegetables, is maintained.
