Rhetorical Legal Questions

• Is it felony animal cruelty to pierce your cat’s ears?
• Is it felony child abuse to make a set of eyes that light up when a remote control triggers them, place that set of eyes in the cold air return, and trip them when your newly-mobile baby crawls to the cold air return and starts tugging at the grate?

I ask not so much because I’m contemplating either action, but because I want to be the number one Internet resource for knowledge about both (or at least, a high search result for either question).

I mean, I need the traffic.