Dr. Brian Performs a Humor Transplant

Laura Bush at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner:

He’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse.

Blogosphere reaction:

  • But on Saturday night, Laura Bush set a new standard. After interrupting her husband and telling him to sit down, she did a stand-up routine that included what was probably the first joke told in earshot of a president that involved him and a horse’s phallus. (John Tierney, New York Times)
  • The First Lady resorting to cheap horse masturbation jokes is not much better than Whoopi Goldberg trafficking in dumb puns on the Bush family name. Unlike many Beltway and Manhattan commentators, I do not think the Wonkette-ization of the White House is a good thing. (Michelle Malkin)
  • So, thanks, Laura, for leaving us with that picture of George with a horse’s penis in his hand! (Ann Althouse)
  • (countless others)

Good gravy, people, get a …. well, control of yourselves. Do I need to diagram this humor on the blackboard?

  1. He tried to milk a horse, but grasping the teats of the animal didn’t produce milk because it was a horse.
  2. What’s more, it was a male horse. You see, even if it had been a cow, Bush’s folly would have been for naught!

For crying out loud, the teats and the phallus are at different ends of the beast, and the joke makes no mention of handjobs or masturbation.

JFC, what kinds of things do you have in your DVD players that led you to this conclusion?

Personally, I am outraged enough with the whole concept of milking which requires manually grasping bestial teats. Perhaps this explains the preference I have had for beer over milk ever since elementary school. But do we have to always drag the level of discourse into the gutter when we could leave it, well enough alone, in the udder?

(Unfortunately, I have Wonkettized this post, since hers is the blog where I found the transcript without, surprisingly, added sexual connotations.)

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