Be Like Kate

Like Kate at Electric Venom, I have discovered:

You damn kids playing like you know the 80s when the 80s are as near to you as the damn 60s were to me in the 80s. I’m telling you for the last freaking time, Sade and Slade are DIFFERENT. They’re not even pronounced the same. Get offa my lawn before I turn the hose on you!

Remember the Pretzels

Reason’s Hit and Run covers the goofball study that says diversity prevents binge drinking, but it also helpfully defines binge drinking:

    BTW, binge drinking is defined as more than 5 drinks in succession for guys and 4 for gals.

So remember, two pretzels, judiciously applied during consumption of your twelve pack, will prevent you from being a “binge drinker.”

At Least They’re Not the BBC

Ananova reports that Sky, an independent network in Britain, has decided to shelve its reality show Find Me a Man, wherein a number of male contestants vied for the affection of a woman who, like Joe Millionaire, was not what she seemed to be. As a matter of fact, it was a pre op transexual.

Please play it. It’s not that I want to see it, even for the schadenfraülein; instead, I want the pool of idiots who sign on for these shows to dry up. And nothing will do it better than watching men unknowingly kissing another man. Who would sign up thinking, “I could be that guy!”

Come to think of it, it probably wouldn’t diminsh the pool of attention starved nutbars who sign up for these things anyway. I take it back. Don’t show it and inspire one of the diminishing-returns US networks to pick it up, too.

More On Box Cutters on Planes

Addendum to my box cutters post:

You know all the box cutters found individually on planes throughout the country? Your paranoia shidoshi has a surprisingly simple explanation. Call it Occam’s Boxcutter if you will. Is it terrorists doing dry runs to see what they can successfully smuggle? Is it an underground of students out to humiliate the TSA?

Or is it simply honest Americans that suddenly discover that they have put their boxcutters in their pockets and suddenly find themselves committing a felony at 42,000 feet?

Believe you me, I would wipe my fingerprints off of it and put it in the seat beside me, too.

More On Box Cutters on Planes

Addendum to my box cutters post:

You know all the box cutters found individually on planes throughout the country? Your paranoia shidoshi has a surprisingly simple explanation. Call it Occam’s Boxcutter if you will. Is it terrorists doing dry runs to see what they can successfully smuggle? Is it an underground of students out to humiliate the TSA?

Or is it simply honest Americans that suddenly discover that they have put their boxcutters in their pockets and suddenly find themselves committing a felony at 42,000 feet?

Believe you me, I would wipe my fingerprints off of it and put it in the seat beside me, too.

Remember, B. Holden Wants Not To Close Loopholes, But To Determine Who Passes Through Them

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, oddly enough, entitles this story “Small firms will pay piper if big companies get tax break”.

Stop the O’Learying presses, wouldja? So someone has to make up the difference when the state passes out millions of dollars to Ford, Chrysler, Boeing, or any of the other dozen or so companies that employ a couple of thousand people whenever one of those companies rattles its cup among the various states when contemplating whether to move or not?

Lord, love a duck, I know I am an English major, but this sort of thing just seems obvious to me. It’s about time a journalist catches up.

Of course, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch will forget this concern the next time that one of these companies decides it can get a better handout from Kentucky and will run breathless stories about the negotiating and the threats of layoffs, and you, taxpayer, will be forgotten.

Quote of the Day

From a Tech Central Station article about the rather forward CEO of Ryanair, Mike O’Leary, we have this nugget of wisdom about portfolio allocation:

    I don’t want to get stuck like those dot com f—-ing goons that lost everything because they failed to realize their paper wealth.

Diversify from those options, kiddies. Not that I’ll have that trouble, of course, since I’ve put all my money in liquor, canned goods, can openers, and firearms. That’s all the portfolio diversification you need.

Remember, B. Holden Wants Not To Close Loopholes, But To Determine Who Passes Through Them

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch, oddly enough, entitles this story “Small firms will pay piper if big companies get tax break”.

Stop the O’Learying presses, wouldja? So someone has to make up the difference when the state passes out millions of dollars to Ford, Chrysler, Boeing, or any of the other dozen or so companies that employ a couple of thousand people whenever one of those companies rattles its cup among the various states when contemplating whether to move or not?

Lord, love a duck, I know I am an English major, but this sort of thing just seems obvious to me. It’s about time a journalist catches up.

Of course, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch will forget this concern the next time that one of these companies decides it can get a better handout from Kentucky and will run breathless stories about the negotiating and the threats of layoffs, and you, taxpayer, will be forgotten.

Quote of the Day

From a Tech Central Station article about the rather forward CEO of Ryanair, Mike O’Leary, we have this nugget of wisdom about portfolio allocation:

    I don’t want to get stuck like those dot com f—-ing goons that lost everything because they failed to realize their paper wealth.

Diversify from those options, kiddies. Not that I’ll have that trouble, of course, since I’ve put all my money in liquor, canned goods, can openers, and firearms. That’s all the portfolio diversification you need.